
Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.
My advice to you after 9 years of this with my mum is to think of you first, seriously. Do what you can for her, but look after yourself.
The first year when my mum was manic and sectioned twice, I did everything to try and sort her out, all I got was a abuse and violence (plus had just had a baby), nothing I did changed her way of thinking - when someone is manic all logic and reason goes out the window.
If she is abusive to you, don't yell back (even though you want to) let her get on with it, just nod and agree.
The main way to deal with a manic person is to agree with everything they say, it can stop them getting abusive.
I take a step back now when my mum goes manic, i had to for my own sanity, it was making me ill and my children were suffering. I still do whatever I can - tracking her across the country when she goes on her manic trips, keeping in touch with her careteam, signing anything I need to to get her sorted out, sending her money so she can eat (cos she has spent her money on useless junk), but emotionally I step back and let the professionals do the work they are trained to do. I know this may sound heartless, but I ended up very ill with a baby to look after when my mum was first manic of this batch.
The only way to keep dealing with your mum is to make sure you are well enough to deal with her.
My mum has a fairly expansive careteam, who are very good and can pick up on the changes in mood now as quickly as me.
First and foremost, don't make yourself ill by trying to make someone who is manic see they are ill, it is pointless - I know I have done it.