
Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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so husband is going to see a new pdoc this weekend. so far this guy seems okay. we met with him initially for about 30min, but re-scheduled this appointment with him for 1.5 hours as he wants more time as husband is a "complex case".
am i hoping too much from this guy? his original pdoc retired, we have been looking for a new guy, someone who will be able to manage his meds better. the guy we were switching from just didn't seem to care or get my husband. will this new guy be avail to talk to in emergencies? what if i am just freaking out when he is in a manic episode and i don't know what to do??
i guess i am expecting almost a miracle worker. i just know husband is frustrated and tired of swithing again, and adjusting meds, and telling his story again. i remain positive- we will find something that helps. but how do i help him see that?
thanks for any feeback.:)
am i hoping too much from this guy? his original pdoc retired, we have been looking for a new guy, someone who will be able to manage his meds better. the guy we were switching from just didn't seem to care or get my husband. will this new guy be avail to talk to in emergencies? what if i am just freaking out when he is in a manic episode and i don't know what to do??
i guess i am expecting almost a miracle worker. i just know husband is frustrated and tired of swithing again, and adjusting meds, and telling his story again. i remain positive- we will find something that helps. but how do i help him see that?
thanks for any feeback.:)
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I think it's a good sign that he wants a longer appointment, maybe he's a thorough doctor & wants to do a good job of looking after your hubby.
Over here in New Zealand we have community key workers, my boyfriends one comes to our house & helps him to function again after being unwell & in hospital. She motivates & nags, it makes life a lot easier for me!
The worry is that she's 65 & won't be working forever, she's dealt with him for 10 years since diagnosis & it's going to be hard to find someone that he'll trust that much again.
Can you ring the hospital if he gets too unwell? We have a CATT (crisis assessment something or other) team who I can ring 24/7 if my man gets unwell again, they have my name on record & are under strict instructions to listen to me. Before this I tried to ring them & was told they'd need his permission to speak with them-what a joke, how can you talk a manic person into seeking help when they're enjoying riding the manic wave?
Ask every question you can possibly think of when you see the doc, especially the one about what to do when he's manic.Try to come up with a plan with your husband & the doctor so you know what needs to be done when things go wrong.
I agree that a support group is really important though. i don't really have one either and i keep trying to tell my bf he needs one because i can not give him all of his support by myself.
i think that they need a family physician, psychiatrist, therapist, and then a close network of friends and family to help ideally.
getting all of that in line is hard though.
As for the support group, I have also been trying to get my daughter to join one that is all girls 12-15 but she won't even hear of it. I think it would be really helpful for her to talk to girls her age that have similar problems but she wants nothing to do with it.
My wife's PDoc is very busy but we call in all the time and we have always gotten to see him if not the same day the next day in an emergent situation.
Here is another thing I was thinking about that you may want to consider. I read a book on bi-polar and it talked about having preset things set up for when they get manic or super depressed so you can take over and help out. Basically if they are heading that way you can ask a key question and they can respond telling you whether they are heading that direction or not.
This enables you to have some control and help them get help. It is also important to have preplanned out what you are going to do if situation A, B, or C happens. Having those plans already in place makes life a lot more easily managed when a person goes entirely manic or depression.
Alternative supports are great -- but the person with BP has to want them. My guy used to get completely psychotically paranoid when manic, which corroded him so that eventually he trusted no one. He certainly wouod not have used a therapist in any meaningful sense.
Having a plan for what to do in case sounds good in theory. We had that. Come the manic episode, it was denial, denial, denial. HE wasn't the one with the problem, I was, and yada, yada, yada. I thank God that he actually let me take him to the emergency room that last horrible night -- 35 minutes away on a foggy night, with roads coated with black ice.
I think your best bet is to talk with the doc about where YOU can find support in a crisis, and ask yourself who you would trust to walk through this with you.