Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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Tell mum my secret...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi guys,

I've decided that its time to face up to my rape so that I can begin to get over it, and part of doing that means telling my parents. I know dad will take it hard and will be very angry at the guy that did this to me, but it's my mum that I'm worried about.

What if finding this out sends her over the edge? She's already so unstable and not taking her meds, what if finding this out sends her into some sort of a breakdown? Is it really worth risking her health for the sake of my own?

I don't know what to do. It's hard to know how she will even react. I know she loves me deep down inside (really deep sometimes), but some of the things she has said in the past have been really hurtful. What if her way of coping with this is to shut me out and not believe what I tell her. What if she turns against me?

I'm really confused.Any advice?

Love,
Tracey.
deleted_user
deleted_user
While I think you should tell your mum, if she is unstable atm she may not be able to handle it.
My mum went unstable then manic when I told her i was pregnant the first time 9 years ago, all she said was 'I hope I can cope with this' she didn't! And has been lurching between mania and stability ever since.

Maybe you could tell you dad, and for now keep it between you and your dad until your mum is more stable.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think, Tracey, that it would be far better for you to go to a counselor than to talk with your parents about it, from all that you have said. It is impossible to predict how mum would take it, and you have said you have already lost all your friends over this. You need help and support for YOU first, without having to worry about what the other person will say or do. Don't risk losing whatever tenuous support you have from your mother. But don't accept a continuing state of nightmare, either!! If you don't know or can't find a counselor who works with Rape victims, you could try calling the local court and asking for a referral. I'm not sure how that works "down under" -- in the US there are victim/witness advocates who can get you connected with counseling, and it is possible that they have something similar where you are.
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