So over the summer I met a girl and we fell for each other. I didn't know at the time that she is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, among other psychological problems. But I am a pretty patient person, and I was there for her when she needed someone and she'd always tell me how great I was to her. She was also there for me and was an awesome friend through a very stressful time in my life. I eventually began to fall in love with her. But sometimes she'd go through these moods where she would tell me that she wasn't attracted to me, but they'd pass. Then about three months into the relationship she told me that it was too much to struggle with going back and forth on how attracted to me she was and she didn't want to keep trying to force it, so we broke up and I had a really hard time because I had been falling for her so hard. About a month later, we were back together. We were hanging out and ended up hooking up and then admitting that we both really missed each other. Two months later, she broke up with me again for the same reason as the first time. We have stayed friends because over the course of the relationship and sharing some of the hardest times in both of our lives, we have become extremely close. We would both say that we are best friends. We both don't know what we'd do without each other. But she gets mad at me for the littlest things when she is stressed out. Most of the time they are things that I could never imagine even thinking twice about myself. Sometimes it just seems like half the time she's the best friend I've ever had, and half the time she hates me. I'm beginning to feel so run down from being hurt by the things she says and from feeling sad when she gets angry and decides she doesn't feel like talking to me for a while. I tell myself that it's just how she is, it's not her fault, it's her disorders, she loves me and we're best friends. But I don't know if I am just telling myself that in order to have an excuse for sticking around. Sometimes I really want to walk away from it all but then she'll turn around and be fine again. I just feel confused and don't know how to deal with the friendship and the feelings that are coming along with it right now. Is there anyone out there who has any sort of insight or advice?
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