So the whole reason for this little "rant" is because I have come to a sad realization. My husband (ex) is bothering me so much. He was diagnosed at 13 with bp. We got married, he got physical, I left and divorced him. He got on meds, got better and we got back together. (just a little past info for ya) Now he has gotten to the point where I cant even live with him anymore. He is NOT physical with me at all. We only fight every now and then, but he is so so lazy! He does nothing but sit on the couch watching TV. He doesnt work, he says due to his bp and we are in the process of getting Disability. I dont work, economy sucks, so at this point we are living off of the state (I am so so sadened to say this!) I have been looking for a job ever since my hubby quit his job, but with the economy it is hard to find anything, Mc Ds wont even hire me (I am too qualified, WHAT??) Anyways, I do EVERYTHING! I get up in the AM, he sleeps in. I get our 5 year old ready for school and our 2 1/2 year old and 1 year old ready for the day. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I do it all. He cant even do the dishes. I have asked him, wrote him letters, pleaded and begged for him to start helping and he uses his bp as an excuse. BP or not you need to be a contributing member to society in any way possible, even if it is just vacumming your own house or taking down the garbage. BPs have to work harder at things, I understand, but I cant stand doing everything....while he lays on the couch watching me. My really good friend once told me that I choose to stay so I really dont have a right to complain, and I agree. I really shouldnt be complaining because I know he isnt going to change and I dont have a right to complain about something I can change, but wont. I figured out, saddly enough, that the reason I stay with him is because I know if I left with the kids he would go down the drain. He would kill himself. I know he would. He doesnt take his meds without me telling him so that would all stop. I really dont even know if I love him anymore. I know I could live without him, but he cant live without me. I am so sad at this, the reason I am staying. At first I thought it was comfort, being used to him, but really its not. I was without him before and did just fine, so I know I could do it now. Its not like he helps me with the kids. I am already a single mother. Arg, anyways, just wanted to get some stuff off my chest.
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