Yes, yes, and yes!!!! I can't tell you how many times my ex fiance has done the same. He hardly has any friends, and his closest lives far away. Which he can handle, since he only has to email and use the phone. He hardly goes out at all! I think maybe he get's to a point where he feels too stressed out and doesn't want anyone depending on him. He hates it if there are any expectations of him. He's also said he feels guilty, which i've heard is common for bp's. When he's in a depressive state there's nothing i can do. He just pulls away as far as he can. It's so frustrating because he knows how much i love him. Sometimes though, the more i'd try with him, the worse it would get. So all you can do is step back and hope they get through this dark place.

Thank you red68...what you wrote spoke right to my heart...its so healing to hear that this is a common issue with others...we were together for 6 yrs...we were going to get married...he was the love of my life..we have been able to stay close friends but it is such a struggle to maintain a relationship with him because he is so guarded and the guilt he feels keeps him from feeling deserving of any love or friendship. He can handle emailing now and than...a call once in a great while but that is it. I too have to just sit back and let him come to me. Wow I am learning so much...I wish I had this much insight about 10 yrs ago.
2Sweet

My bp bf has few friends and tends to drive off mine too. There are weeks when he won't leave the basement(his space) and other weeks where he's gone so much I'm lucky to see him. And when he's down (like he's been for the last week) he pushes me away to the point where I'm lucky I get a hug and kissing is out of the question!

I'm bipolar I tend to isolate when I get depressed and I don't know why I push everyone away. But when I am isolating, I want attention despite my pushing away. Just once I would have liked my wife to come and sit with me and reassure me without questions or anger at my behaviour but she would get mad and storm out and seldom come near me when I shut myself away.
Sure I know I am wrong to isolate but I only know that when I am feeling better not when I am down.
You are probably different but my wife refused to be involved with my treatment. She seemed to think it was my problem, deal with it and get better.
I sometimes think tings would have been better if she had been more supportive like the advice on this page.
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/helping-loved-one-with-bipolar

I could have done a better job too if I had managed my illness better because it is easier to prevent or turn around my feelings to isolate than it is to get out of a full blown isolation.
My marriage ended after 26 years. It has been 10 years now and I have learned a lot but I still don't do relationships very well. If I did I would use the plan I found at www.BipolarHappens.com
Sorry if this sounds like an ad. It is not. I am just an unhappycamper who learned the hard way.

and Good Luck!

Thanks computerb for your words of insight...its really too bad that your ex-wife did not get more involved...my thought is that if I want my ex bf in my life and I do than I need to do my part and learn all I can about this disease. Its not so much for him but for me. I am the one that has to deal and cope and be the supporter...my ex also pushed and pushed me away...but let me push away and he would have a fit !!!. Its ok for him not to call or email but let me do that and he would let me have it. All my other friends think I am nutts for putting up with it all. They think he uses his disease as a excuse to be a ass hole to everyone. But I see his heart and I know that is not true. He is doing the best he can.
2Sweet

I hope your ex does better at managing his treatment. He will realize how much you have done.

My Ex still doesn't get it to this day.
Had to talk to her a few days ago about some retirement things and she complained that I am still BP even after all the trips to the hospital.

You are right, a lot of times us BP'rs play by our own rules and have double standards. Sorry!

yes, it is so frustrating. I agree with what red and vamp put.

Yes, this sounds very familiar. It will in part have to do with the form his BP takes. My guy got psychotically paranoid when manic. Part of his isolation (and mine with it) was from his paranoia. The other part he described to me as him trying to reduce the stimulation, an effort to slow himself down. For a while low lighting and soft, slow music would help. But as his disease progressed, even that didn't have any effect.

You can try acknowledging that this is his way of trying to keep his environment manageable -- just be sure that you don't get sucked into leading the same kind of lifestyle for his sake!

I can completely relate. I'm glad that I've read this.

You have to let this run its coarse. Take from me that I suffer this illness no one care cheer us up. Its kinda like a phase. In worse case scenerio he might feel loniiliness and still want to be alone. I know from experience that its a cycle and he goes through. Its not that he does not care but he feels that bad. Socialization sometimes tire him out or its too much. I understand its hard to watch a loved one go through this phase but sometimes it turns out for the best. sometimes over time it rejuvinates him. but keep an eyes that he does not get too depressed.i hope this might help.

My wife is very much the same way. She is extremely close to her family as they all live practically on top of each other. However, she pushed away all my friends and she is extremely rude to my family. She gets very uncomfortable when there is a birthday party when people are there that she doesn't know. I am not allowed to wander off and talk on my own. I actually feel like I am being isolated from everyone else.