So I posted awhile back that I thought my bf was BP or just cheating. I now believe that he is BP and has cheated. If anyone remembers me my bf was disappearing, had major mood swings, etc. Blah blah blah. I have since found out that his father is BP, and there is a high likelihood that both of his grandfathers were BP. I've also found out that over the course of 8 months he was juggling 9 different relationships with women. Usually 3 at a time, not including ours. Which at this point is not really a relationship. He lost his job, for awhile he didn't leave the house, he cut off all communication with most of the women, or so he said and then bitched that he didn't have any friends. Here's just one of the issues...he just got better at hiding the communication. He got a phone I didn't know about, he uses a proxy server to log into email accounts I don't know about. etc. He tells me I'm delusional to think he cheats on me, but when I told him I hacked his email account, he told me he knew I did and planted that stuff there. I feel like I've become obsessed with knowing what he's doing. I am so mad, so hurt and so angry. I'm mad that he won't admit to cheating on me, I'm mad that he blames me for everything, I'm mad that he won't get help or even recognize the problem, I'm mad at myself for letting him make me feel this way. I have let my emotions get so bad that I have literally flipped out on him. His friend was over one night and she and I were talking in the back yard, he came out and just started making really nasty remarks to me, then later in the night he would say something mean and walk away slamming doors, his friend asked what his problem was, I said he was mad at me, she said for what you didn't do anything ...then I went to bed and he came in just yelling at me that I was trying to embarrass him in front of his friends, etc. He said he was leaving, he had been drinking so I took his keys, long story short, we got into it and the cheating was brought up; he again denied it and I flipped. I actually punched him the face.Then the other night when he got mad at me because I asked where he was going, and literally it was him coming to me saying I'm going out for a ride, I respond "ok, where ya headed?" and then he launched...screaming at me that I monitor him. I told him to get out, but since I own and pay/paid for all the vehicles he needed to walk. He started screaming at me, at this point the neighbors are out, it a scene. Everyone goes back in and he is still mad and saying the meanest things to me. I got so angry I grabbed his laptop (which I paid for) and slammed it on the ground. I have lost my fricken mind. I have never been like this....and the worst part of it is that I love this man, maybe I love who he used to be. I can't handle this, I don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself.
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