After the last weekend he was here, (most of you know my story if not just hop onto my profile)I think I finally got fed up. I am so amazed at myself. While he was here he was almost like the man I knew. We did fight but he appologized for it and then I found out the secret phone was still around and there was a picture of both of them together on the front of it. It broke my heart to know that this was still going on. We talked about alot of stuff, he told me several things, answered all my questions and even though he seemed genuine it didnt matter anymore. I am just so tired of it. I also didnt like it when he said that he no longer wanted to be a father. He didnt want to deal with any or the "bad" stuff. Like home work and showers, arguing, things like that. He just wants to play with them. All of this made me realize that I dont want any of this. It's horrible as he is treating me nicely. But I have turned the tables. I will go 2-3 days without texting him back. It frustrates him so much that he will text my son. I do not tell him anything about the kids as in my opinion you cant just have the good. You have to take it all. I think this has shaken him a bit. It could also be because he is better so I feel like now I can express my feelings without getting jumped on. All I know is it feels good to stand up for myself and let him know that I dont want anything to do with him if he is going to continue talking to her and seeing her, friends or more. He has made his choice of not being a husband or father or want to own a house. I think soon he will regret it as he seemed to have some emotion the last time he was here. He even said he was sorry for hurting me. Anyway I just felt like telling everyone this. I wish I had had the strength months ago to do this. I hope I continue to have the strength to do this.
Big HUGS to all of you.
Big HUGS to all of you.
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