Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group

This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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getting your hopes up...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Im just going to repost my journal entry b/c i don't feel like retyping
he= my b/f

So every few months or weeks he decides he is going to clean up his life, turn over a new leaf so to speak, and its great for a wile, it will last a few days maybe a week at the most then he will go back to drinking, smoking pot, thinking about drugs etc. So last night was day 2 of him not drinking and smoking, and he is also going to slowly try and quit cigarettes and coffee. Its great when he is sober, I am so proud of him for not drinking and smoking (especially when he has some weed at the moment) I honestly have never seen him with this much willpower before. BUT I am scared to get my hopes up.I am almost certain he will come crashing back down again, which is terrible to say, but I/we have been through this before. I dont want to be a hardened person who never believes what he says, but I dont want to let myself keep being disappointed, heartbroken, let down.It makes me want to call it quits, I mean is this going to be my life? I want him so badly to stick to it and all I can do is support him and see what happens. I slowly see us fading again.

I was just wondering if any of you go through the same things? Feeling like things are going to change, but dont want to get your hopes up. Wanting to be happy but knowing in the back of your mind whats going to happen. Im getting tired of putting on the happy face...
sorry this is kind of a vent more than a question i suppos.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Every time my mum goes manic and says she will stay on the meds when she is discharged, I get my hopes up....not so much anymore, cos I know they will be crashed again, but part of me still thinks 'is that the last manic episode?,' but most of me these days thinks, 'it'll be okay for a while, but then she'll start going up again'
deleted_user
deleted_user
to love a bp is too:
not have much hope things will change they hardly ever do..

Is to build walls around your heart.

Is too, slick up your back and let their rants slide down

you have to let of your needs and focus on theirs..

i know its hard too..
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have totally been where you are. So many times my bf ( now once again my ex), would come back to me with so much hope for us. He would quit smoking, and this last time he even stoped drinking for a couple months. Every time i want to believe so badly that things will be different, but like you, my trust just isn't fully there. I did start to think maybe this last time we got back together that if we really worked at it, maybe we'd have a chance. We got engaged and even stuck with couples therapy for a while. But like all the other times, he started to crash and push me away etc., until he finally decided to end it. I've sworn to myself that if he came back i would tell him he needs to get help, meaning a doctor and meds.

Anyway, not sure if i'm being helpful. I just know how hard it can be. Hang in there!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
That sounds like my bf last year drinking almost all the time and smoking pot every weekend. Since then he has stopped smoking pot (except on extremely rare occasions at a party) and doesn't drink very often (maybe once a week; socially). Though he does still abuse pain pills(his doc prescribes GIR) and still smokes cigs like a chimney. I still am very proud of what he's accomplished. When he's not abusing stuff he's more "level" stays relatively "normal" for a while. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
The rollercoaster ride is all part of the relationship, hon. And if he has drugs and alcohol in the mix, you are working with someone who has more than bipolar illness.

I stopped hoping about ten years after my guy's diagnosis -- and gained about 100 lbs trying to "stuff" my feelings. Having your hopes dashed repeatedly is a soul-killer.

I stayed as long as I did because I had made marriage vows. Why are you staying?
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