
Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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my mom has manic depression with hallucinations..she made me go through some pretty horrible experience as i grew up..she was very verbally abusive and even physical sometimes...now im in college and things are still really tense between us..she gets mad that my dad and i are so much closer...but he has been the rock that has held our family together..plus i relate to him better....its so hard talking with her because sometimes she doesnt seem all the way there..and when she is im just so mad at her for the past...how do you get over the past and try to forgive them..and how do you deal with them when they lose their temper or get upset over the littlest things?
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You have to accept it and make it make you stronger or you let it eat away at you and resent your mum even more.
My daughter says things that can hurt me when she is in a manic episode, things that she would never say when she is herself. I know she doesnt mean these things. They still hurt. I have to remember that it is the mania talking.
My brother has done some terrible things over the years, especially recently. I remind myself that the brother I love would not do the things his illness has lead him to do. I get angry with the Bipolar disorder.
Being a child of a person with BP, that has to have been terribly hard on you, and probably harder to be as forgiving, as this is a person who should have been there for you. Thankfully your father was there for you. Try to remember that she has less control over her responses than nonBP do. I know its hard, but holding on to the anger will hold you back from going on with your own life.
Im a nonBP mom, and I certainly have lost my temper and yelled alot mmore than I mean to at times, and feel horrible afterwards. I still remember my daughter saying *Could you use the nice Mommy voice!*
Carrying around a bunch of baggage myself I certainly understand how you feel. The truth is that when we hold on to things that someone has done to us it is really giving that person power over us. I know in your head you intellectually understand that most if not all of it was the disorder but your heart is holding on to the pain. Truly forgive them in your heart so it no longer has power over you.
One thing that would certainly help you is that when she is well cherish those times and make good memories. Let the good memories overshadow the bad. I know that is hard to accomplish but with effort and time it can be done. No matter what happens the past can not be erased... we arent a hard disk taht can just have memories deleted.
I wish you luck with this and hope I was able to offer somewhat helpful advice.
as far as not being mean, and having respect for my mother... I do respect her, a lot. But i needed to rearrange who she is to me now...she's not a mom,....she's my mum. And the relationship comes with out expectations from her [er at least i try]. I care about her more as a part of myself....and not as a parent.
Having independence and power over my own life helps with that a lot. I've realised in the last few months that we are co-dependant, even if we are not emotionally close to each other.
sorry for the rant,...i'm just hoping the nitty gritty will be helpful to you. As i know i'm insanely curious about that with others.
some ppl here gave me a few great links...
http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/bipolar/related/support_021.asp
http://www.dbsalliance.com/
http://youarenotcrazy.com/