Is he on any meds? Sometimes the meds effect the sex drive!

On the lighter side he could, be manic and going out and cheating on you!

I always tend to pick the lesser of the two evils.

Wow! If any girl threw herself at me then I will probably not know what to do since it has been a while. Foreplay now is convincing my wife that I agree with her that everyone ELSE is screwed up and that turns her on.

Sorry, these posts are too hot for me. I am going to take a cold shower. Oh, there is my unhappy partner yelling at me, I don't need the cold shower now.

Sorry Vampelf, the physical relationship being absent is hard and I know it makes me just that 24/7. I do want to be Dr Ruth here who recommends Tonka toys replacement therapy, but you might want to see if he suffers performance anxiety. I suffer from the Lack of Performance Anxiety and that can be equally as bad. Trust me, married men and boyfriends can suffer from that and can happen any time. They fear that they might not be able to satisfy you. This is more common than you think. Are you the wild type and he is not in bed? See if there is a way he likes and do that for a while (hopefully not missionary boring style) and then slowly add some stuff to it. Make sure that you never criticize anything he does in the bed. Don't say, "That was OK, but I prefer Tarzan." Guys have an ego and you do not want to destroy that but build it up even when you know it's a bunch of crap. Don't get carried away either with, "You stallion!!!!!!!!! Oh, those were the best 2 minutes ever you stud muffin." We might be guys but we know bs sometimes when we hear it.

Hurtpoet could be right that the meds could be affecting him. You need to go back in the relationship and determine when all this has started and that might give you a clue. Did he have several bad experiences with you and so on where he failed to perform? Was that when he started his meds? Is there a lot of tension in the relationship too? I made a post yesterday where I said how my wife 10 minutes after bashing my head in will tell me that she is horny and my head is still spinning from the whipping that I just received.

Hurtpoet also said about another fling on the side as a possibility. That is a chance too. Just do what my wife does to me every three months and get within 6 inches of his face and ask him if there is someone else. I don't know, my wife thinks it is the key to knowing who is cheating. I doubt that he is because other clues are usually present.

If he is still affectionate to you then my guess is a performance type of anxiety. You usually do not have one without the other. He just might be feeling guilty about something.

Sorry if I didn't help.

Vamp Thank you! I feel this way alot too!! It happens every few weeks/months, he will want nothing to do with me- which makes me want it even more i think!? It makes me crazy. But then usually he will come back around balance out, then the cycle will start all over again, hopefully he will come back around, and SOON!

Gads, I lived without sex for years. I actually preferred it after a while, since his pillow talk was always about how "they" were watching us or somehow going to intrude upon our lives. Kind of soured me on sex after a while.

Too bad, I really used to enjoy it! But after this many years, I can live without it.

I agree with kitty, "I used to enjoy it." I'm now cut off. No Mas. Asta la Vista baby! No push push.

Interestingly enough I was the one not interested and really denied my partner. There are so many reasons why I did this. A lot of it is lack of desire when they are feeling depressed one minute then expect you to change moods as quickly as my wife would. I have actually had a lot of discussions with my therapist about this and basically I had assumed a fatherly role in the relationship making sure she took her meds, went to appointments, did all the house work, etc. What I am trying to refocus on is that she is my SPOUSE. So in that vent she is a woman with needs and it is really unfair for me to hold out, regardless of how I feel.
What I have started doing is creating date nights where we can refocus on us as a couple and try and rekindle the spark. Believe it or not my Therapist pointed out that this was an excellent idea because it shows that I really do love her and she IS my spouse not just someone I take care of. Physically it is also very good for the body.
We had our first date night last night and it went surprisingly well. We both enjoyed and it was nice actually being a couple again for a little while.

ok first ROFLMAO

I'm realllly glad I found this place it makes me feel like I'm not totally alone in this mess that is bp!!

HurtPoet-No I don't think it's the meds.

Cody1-not sure about the anxiety though I am the "wild one" an he's "missionary boring style" so that sucks. Also my ex-husband cheated on me so I know the signs there. O'well I guess I'm sh*t outta luck for now :(

I'm sorry that this topic died off so quickly. This was the closest I've gotten to the real thing in such a long time.

I do appreciate people sharing! I don't smoke but I feel like having one.

Yes! What else can I say?

ROTFLMAO! Cody, you're a character. Go ahead, kids, smoke 'em if you got'em. This IS the best there is!!!

Come on Kitty! What excitement can you add to this topic to spice it up? Trust me, it takes very little to get me going.

He's tellin the truth.. A stiff wind and Cody is GONE..

snarf snart..

I've been A sexual for 6m. But choice people by choice.. I do miss the cuddling and etc.. But, over all I am going to go out and find a replacement.

Or seek someone to fulfill my emotional needs..

No talking about a stiff wand hurtpoet as I am A sexually deprived maniac. I suffer sex manias. I have my highs and lows. When it happens I am high as a kite. When I go over a month without it then I am as low as dirt.

you poor thing... anyone wanna pass some bucks at cody so we can get him a cheap thrill!!!

snarf snarf..
i am joking people dont flip out on me.. umm kk

Yeah, pass some bucks!!! Christmas is coming. I need a ho ho ho!

Thanks a lot Hurtpoet!!