
Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group
This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends develop greater patience and understanding, as well as maintain a positive, caring relationships with those diagnosed as Bipolar.

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I'd like to know from others living with a BP person how they deal with the anger and depression cycle. When the depression is so intense there is nothing the supporter can do but encourage the counseling etc. My husband needs time alone when he gets this way. He'll need it for 2 weeks to 3 months depending on how intense it is. We have three children together (2 teens and one 6 yrs) all girls. When the two older ones were younger it was easy to tell them that dad is staying at his friends for awhile. Now that they are older they are alot more selfish and rebellious. They don't seem to understand that dad doesn't feel good and he needs to spend time away from the house, the noise, the commotion, etc. Have any of you been in this situation where you let your BP person get the time away as I do? If you do, how do you deal with the children so they understand? I wish our house was bigger so that my husband can have his own area but it's not possible.
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i wasn't the normal teenager, but if a family member was hurting...i was very compassionate. Unfortunately when i didn't understand why someone acted strangely and ppl covered things up from me, it made me pretty angry. It might help them to understand him better if you had a heart to heart. About the times he's angry and when he's depressed. They might respond with anger at this new complication in there life though...
is the family seeing a counselor ? or in therapy? If so it might be a good idea to broach the subject with the therapist. If not, it might be helpful to see someone.
i hope this was helpful, and lots of luck to you and your family!
The effects it has on a person. The pros the cons, and why its important for him to have this time to himself.
I know teenagers know everything about the world. But, stil there has to be some way of edu them so they can better understand whats up.
I am sorry for your situation; with my ex it was easy; he would just quit talking to me for a month when he cycled. We didn't live together, so it wasn't like this was a problem in those terms, but it sure hurt me alot. At the time, I didn't know that it was the BP; I thought it was me. I am sure it is frustrating and sad for you as well.
Have you tried talking to him about how this is affecting his kids? It would probably be best to do this when he is "up", and most receptive to your help.
I hope things work out for you...several months is a long time to go without dad around!
It may even be a relief to them to have an explaination for something that is confusing to them. It would also be less stressful for you to not be hiding things from them.
I would try to get some printed info on BP and possibly have them talk with your doctor or therapist if you have one.
I know teens are very self centered, but they can also be compassionate and have empathy if they understand what is happening.
Here are a couple of links I found about explaining bipolar to young children, because the 6 year old may be confused about what is happening too.
http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Mental_Health/Mental_Health_Information/when_parent_bipolar.html
http://twotreesmedia.com/explain_bipolar_to_children.htm
and we've brought this up with the therapist too. It's an uphill battle. It's just so hard to try to teach your kids that typically this type of behavior is unacceptable but then turn around and explain to them that it's ok in this unique situation. I just want the best for the kids. I suppose everything happens for a reason and God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Thanks everyone for your advice.
Sounds like he is not getting sleep either. Sleep is very important with BP. I have to watch myself closely so that i do not get too upset at work or home. But about once a year a major trigger will occur that BP anger and I have to isolate from work and family. i have taken two weeks off work a few times due to BP stress.
Make sure he takes his meds and that the meds are working for him. If they are not doing what they should (controlling the racing thoughts/depression and settling the anger), he needs to discuss wit the pdoc ASAP.
My poor wife felt helpless because she wasn't part of my treatment plan and we didn't know the things we know today about bipolar 35 years ago.
Good luck
Bipolar does not have to be a secret in the family. It is a treatable illness and can be managed and those with a supportive partner do the best!
1. As you said kids are selfish they have a way of making this there fault everything is about two.
2. They need to know what to look for and how to handle it God forbid one of they have it. Isolating I would not think is the best way.
I mentioned in another post about having my own therapist. I know its alot but Maybe have one just for them make sure first that they understand bipolar. Learn from my mistake.
Call NAMI in your area and any other mental health organizations. Here in PA we have the Advocy Alliance. I am telling you they have been a God Send. I dont know what I would of done without them.
Places like this have material they can send out and possibly know where you can go for more help.
One last thing I should be fair that although I have seen so many teens become more and more selfish It could also be the way they are dealing with the situation because they dont know how or what to think. I hope that makes sense
My advice is going to be a bit harsh. Sorry in advance. I would be getting active help from the PDoc if he was depressed more than 1 week. The idea that you are allowing him to take off from 2 weeks to 3 months is just simply aiding him in his battle with BP.
I agree with all the others that your children should be told and possibly have the whole family at the Therapists when this happens.
I strongly recommend you get his meds checked and i would also recommend not allowing him to take off. He is your husband and the kids father and frankly he does not have the luxury of just running off if he is depressed. Regardless of his BP he still has a responsibility to his family.
Of course, my ex uses his BP as an excuse and permission for all sorts of bad behavior. I simply don't deal with it anymore.