How old are your teens?

i wasn't the normal teenager, but if a family member was hurting...i was very compassionate. Unfortunately when i didn't understand why someone acted strangely and ppl covered things up from me, it made me pretty angry. It might help them to understand him better if you had a heart to heart. About the times he's angry and when he's depressed. They might respond with anger at this new complication in there life though...
is the family seeing a counselor ? or in therapy? If so it might be a good idea to broach the subject with the therapist. If not, it might be helpful to see someone.
i hope this was helpful, and lots of luck to you and your family!

Have you thought about talking to them more in depth about BP.

The effects it has on a person. The pros the cons, and why its important for him to have this time to himself.

I know teenagers know everything about the world. But, stil there has to be some way of edu them so they can better understand whats up.

Wow, I didn't realize that "alone time" was normal of BP...it actually makes me feel better, knowing that I'm not the only one that has to deal with it.

I am sorry for your situation; with my ex it was easy; he would just quit talking to me for a month when he cycled. We didn't live together, so it wasn't like this was a problem in those terms, but it sure hurt me alot. At the time, I didn't know that it was the BP; I thought it was me. I am sure it is frustrating and sad for you as well.

Have you tried talking to him about how this is affecting his kids? It would probably be best to do this when he is "up", and most receptive to your help.

I hope things work out for you...several months is a long time to go without dad around!

I think the teens are old enough to know.
It may even be a relief to them to have an explaination for something that is confusing to them. It would also be less stressful for you to not be hiding things from them.

I would try to get some printed info on BP and possibly have them talk with your doctor or therapist if you have one.

I know teens are very self centered, but they can also be compassionate and have empathy if they understand what is happening.

Here are a couple of links I found about explaining bipolar to young children, because the 6 year old may be confused about what is happening too.

http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Mental_Health/Mental_Health_Information/when_parent_bipolar.html

http://twotreesmedia.com/explain_bipolar_to_children.htm

Wow, l didn`t realise the alone time was part of BP to- my hubby didn`t sent nights away yet needed quite alot of alone time and offen l question what l or the kids had done to upset him. l agree with the responers before me may-be have a heart to heart with your girls, do let us know how things work out- oh good luck Jane

Thank you so much for the replies. My kids are 15, 14 and 6. The 14 year old is very helpful and understanding although she finds it difficult. The 15 year old thinks that he needs to stay or go. She just doesn't seem to get it. She loves her dad, don't get me wrong. Maybe she is just tired of seeing me stressed. I don't know. I really got some good info from http://www.camh.net/About_Addictio...
and we've brought this up with the therapist too. It's an uphill battle. It's just so hard to try to teach your kids that typically this type of behavior is unacceptable but then turn around and explain to them that it's ok in this unique situation. I just want the best for the kids. I suppose everything happens for a reason and God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Thanks everyone for your advice.

Sounds like hubby needs to discuss this with his pdoc. He should not need isolation more than a few hours.

Sounds like he is not getting sleep either. Sleep is very important with BP. I have to watch myself closely so that i do not get too upset at work or home. But about once a year a major trigger will occur that BP anger and I have to isolate from work and family. i have taken two weeks off work a few times due to BP stress.

Make sure he takes his meds and that the meds are working for him. If they are not doing what they should (controlling the racing thoughts/depression and settling the anger), he needs to discuss wit the pdoc ASAP.

I am bipolar and learned the hard way from isolating. It caused the end of my 25 year marriage. I agree with #7 reply. Work out a plan with your husbands pdoc for steps to take when your husband goes into isolation such as carefully challenging him to get active after a short rest, if no action calling his pdoc, if no action, calling 911. For me those many hours of isolating from my family & job were spent idolizing about suicide and making plans to end my life. The longer this goes on the more dangerous it is for him. For me isolation was like chocolate cake for making my situation worse. Make your husband understand this behaviour is not acceptable and you want a plan to help him recover from this behaviour.
My poor wife felt helpless because she wasn't part of my treatment plan and we didn't know the things we know today about bipolar 35 years ago.
Good luck

Also, we kept my illness a secret from our kids until they were adults. Of course thy knew something was wrong with me all those years. I think it was a mistake. At an appropriate age, i think talking about bipolar with the kids using the info at the links mentioned in #4 is good advice.
Bipolar does not have to be a secret in the family. It is a treatable illness and can be managed and those with a supportive partner do the best!

Sorry to over do this topic but isolating to a bipolar person is like eating a whole chocolate cake and washing it down with kool aide is to a diabetic person who is on a diet!

I know EXACTLY what my bp husband's "alone time" means to me. It means time away from me, but not necessarily alone, and it destroys me when he does this because he's not being truthful. That being said, we can't expect the bp person in our lives to be truthful because that is a losing battle as we all know and are too familiar with all the lies and deceit they pull all the time. My husband gets his "alone time" by going to the casino and spending money we don't have, going to see his dysfunctional brother, going to his dysfunctional parents, or just driving around wasting gas. As long as he's without me he considers it "alone time" and frankly I'm sick of it. You are a saint to actually encourage it, and I commend you for that. I have actually prayed that I could stop loving my husband because of the pain he causes me. He will just get mad at nothing and leave for no reason when we had plans together. I sympathize with you, it's like you have another kid. You are better at this than I am. I wish I had your determination. I wish I could be more help.

I agree that your children are old enough to know extensively what this is. They need to know for many reasons.

1. As you said kids are selfish they have a way of making this there fault everything is about two.

2. They need to know what to look for and how to handle it God forbid one of they have it. Isolating I would not think is the best way.

I mentioned in another post about having my own therapist. I know its alot but Maybe have one just for them make sure first that they understand bipolar. Learn from my mistake.

Call NAMI in your area and any other mental health organizations. Here in PA we have the Advocy Alliance. I am telling you they have been a God Send. I dont know what I would of done without them.

Places like this have material they can send out and possibly know where you can go for more help.

One last thing I should be fair that although I have seen so many teens become more and more selfish It could also be the way they are dealing with the situation because they dont know how or what to think. I hope that makes sense

Jewels...

My advice is going to be a bit harsh. Sorry in advance. I would be getting active help from the PDoc if he was depressed more than 1 week. The idea that you are allowing him to take off from 2 weeks to 3 months is just simply aiding him in his battle with BP.

I agree with all the others that your children should be told and possibly have the whole family at the Therapists when this happens.

I strongly recommend you get his meds checked and i would also recommend not allowing him to take off. He is your husband and the kids father and frankly he does not have the luxury of just running off if he is depressed. Regardless of his BP he still has a responsibility to his family.

I completely agree with hablur. It's hard because we want(ed) to help and make them comfortable but you run the risk of enabling him. Isolating is not okay. Being depressed and needing alone time for more than a few hours is not okay. It's destructive.

Of course, my ex uses his BP as an excuse and permission for all sorts of bad behavior. I simply don't deal with it anymore.

wow I am bp I would love time alone, but it is only about two to three hours til I feel better and return home, I ususlly just run errands or something. 2 weeks to 3 months seems like an awfully long time...