Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
My situation is probably not as unique as I might think, but, here goes: I met a man a year and a half ago who told me he was running from a sentence in another state-9 months for violation of probation on a DUI. Last year they came to pick him up and the local states attorney threw it out. 3 weeks ago we were on our way to a casino, and in NY I took a wrong turn, ending up at the Canadian border. They confiscated him due to the warrant, and he is now beginning to serve the 9 month sentence. He has a daughter and ex-wife (at least he has said she is his ex), living in the state where he is incarcerated, which is his home state. He came to my state to escape the charge 8 years ago. He says he can get out in 4 months on a transfer if he has a place to stay. He's considering staying with the daughter and ex. ? (He also has a brother in that state, but he doesn't want to stay with him...)Some people tell me "he has to do what he has to do to get out of jail-you should understand! Should I? He told me when he first went in 3 weeks ago, "you know you and ___ are my family now." I'm confused now, and I know if it were me, I would never stay for 5 months with an ex-husband, even if I were half dead. I have 3,-not an option!
deleted_user
I think you bring up a lot of things here but what pops up first for me is the trust issue. It seems like you are battling if he is being honest with you about being divorced or possibly even his crime. I agree that he should not release himself to his "ex's" home for early release if he has the option of staying at his brother's house. If your relationship is a serious one that wants to flourish in the future, then he needs to decline the "ex's" and stay with his brother. If he doesn't, this will only increase your suspicions and cause more trust issues.
deleted_user
Is his brother able to support a stable environment? That would be question I would ask and definetly is he is for sure divorced would be a question to ask. If he's still legally married to her the state would probably favor having him stay there.
deleted_user
Thank you all for responding. I appreciate it. I'm not sure how to find out if he is married or not. He says he isn't. I have asked friends, and no one seems to know for sure. This is so difficult for me because I have had 3 failed marriages before meeting him. Nothing ever seems to work out romantically for me for one reason or another! This just happens to be "another reason," i.e. imprisonment.
deleted_user
Charm26 if you wanted to find out about his marrige situation it is all public record. All you would need to do is check with the county in which he was married and look up his marriage certificate.Some States have this information online. You could look there. If they dont have it online you could always call the county and ask as well too. Hope this gives you some insight on that issue.
deleted_user
Be very careful. My guy ran off to Florida, in 2006 for a warrant in Wisc. He had to meet up with someone to live off of, so of course he found one. He never told her he had me& a home here. He made her promises. I accidentally got his # when he kept calling to hear my voicebut didn't talk. One day he didn't block his #, I figured it out, he admitted it was him. I also sent letters to an address I found in his stuff with no name on it. It was her. She eventually called me, we compared notes,he was giving her such a line of bull and being such a nice guy to her. She turned him in that night, and he is back in a Wisc prison. We worked together. I would not trust the ex wife stuff either. She is his ex for a reason, and if she is willing to let him live with her again, there is still something going on in her heart.
deleted_user
Some counties you can't find out anything about marriages. Ours has no web site. But there is NetDetective or WebDetective. One of them you get 3 days unlimited use to look up anything in public records for $4.95 It was highly recommended by Consumer Reports magazine. That should answer if there was a marriage, or a divorce. One county here you can go there and pay for divorce papers. But if you don't know what county you may have to do the state search through one of those websites. You check it out
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
