Alright here's the long and short of it ladies. I am a very others focused person. It's who I am. Probably part of it stems form the fact that I am a caregiver, and caregivers are always conscious of the needs of others or they wouldn't be in that profession. But, what if your focus is others and your husband's or future husband's is that of himself and you as a couple. Can you find middle ground? Here's a for instance. I've adopted kids in Africa and am helping them financially. It gives me much joy and satisfaction to know that I am helping kids with real needs. James doesn't have the same desire. He has gone without much for a long time and wants to be able to indulge and splurge on things that he has been denied for so long, which I understand, but could not do in good conscience if it meant my kids having to go without food and or education which is the only hope for their future. I'm not talking about denying James things that he or both of us need. I am speaking about things like playstations, video games, movies, things that all Americans spend their money on, but which I can not do if I know that someone is going to go without sonething they need so that I might have it. I feel we have a responsibility to help others as much as we are able, and should deny ourselves pleasure if it will give others a chance at life and happiness. So how can I be fair to James and still help the people who need my assistance? How have all of you handled this issue in your relationships and marriages? Lorie Ann
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...