I certainly understand you not wanting to talk about it. I would say go ahead and call your mom or who ever wants you to be with family on Thanksgiving and tell them the truth. That way when you get there, everyone will already know and hopefully leave it up to you to talk about it if you want to. Or you could just say he's away visiting his family for the holiday. However, I really do believe once you tell what's happening in your life, you will feel better when you have nothing to hide. Good luck and try to enjoy the day with your family. You just never know when will be the last time you see someone you love.

Here's my suggestion... Go ahead and go to Turkey day with the family and have a good time. When anyone asks where the new man is just simply say "He's really sorry he couldn't be with us today" if they keep prodding, just say that you are both disappointed he couldn't be there and it's a story for another time.... Then simply change the subject.. It is the truth that he couldn't be there and you can tell someone later on a different day different time when the time is more appropriate. Since he's the "new" man it wouldn't be all that shocking that he couldn't make it...

My new man isn't so new, and my family all knows where he is and understands, and that's why they push for me to spend time with them.. Very supportive. So I'll go and have a good time, and I'll talk to my man later in the day, or the next day.

Good luck.

I guess it's just a little more complicated than than I let on.

If I go with option 1, I drive 500 miles to LA (then back) and will be gone for several days, no chance to talk to my sweetie. My Mom, Sister and Brother In Law come with that package, Mom already knows the story and they won't judge, I would be comfortble there. It's just that he was going to come with me and I don't feel like I can face this without sinking into sadness.

Option 2 is a day trip with my Dad to his family that I'm not all that close to and don't know that well. My sweetie and I moved to CA and have been staying with my Dad for the last 2 months, so Dad of course knows what the story is. His family had invited us for T-Day before all this came up. It's awkward. No one will say anything hurtfull, it's just my emotions I can't deal with.

I can't stand thinking of him in that place and me trying to pretend I'm ok, cuz I'm not.

AND...I forgot to add that last time I was with any of these family members was just after my husband dumped me and everyone saw that as sooooo tragic. I just don't want to lok so pathectic AGAIN. Poor me!

Something I have learned in the 3 weeks my man has been locked up... Is that I have to go on.. I have to go on for myself and for my son... And honestly for my b/f.. If he called and I were to sound sad or feel sad he'd catch on and that in turn would make him feel bad.. Our loved one's want us to enjoy our time... They now see what they are missing out on, and believe me none of them want us moping around crying all the time..
So choose whichever family you feel you would have the best time at.. And just try to have a few moments where you can enjoy yourself.. I know it's hard. When I laugh or smile about something just a few short seconds later I'm remembering where my man is, and I feel some sense of guilt for smiling or laughing.. But time has started to allow me more smile and laughs, and less guilt... I have actually heard my man laugh on the phone, so I know he's OK. I think that has helped me to allow myself a good feeling or two since he's been gone.

I've been the one on the other side of the fence. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman. Her mother was at 1st against us being together but seems to be slowly coming around. Sitting alone at home would not accomplish anything useful in relation to the situation. Please explain to your family before going over for Thanksgiving. I'm sure they will support you. Please let me know how things go. Best wishes. God bless1

I should add that we must realize that we can't control every situation. Learn what you can control and just put the rest in God's hands and try to go on the best you can. What is meant to be will be. You have to try to trust those that love you. Stay strong!