after finding out the other day that we did not win my husband appeal but we are taking the next step and going all the way with this. the hardest thing for me the past few days have been accepting the fact that i have a very long road ahead of me and really not sure if i can make it or not. my emotions are getting the best of me from crying to so much anger. i just want some good news soon wee need it. im just trying to convince myself that this is all we may ever have and that is hurting so bad. when we got married 5 years did not seem long at all then 5 years lead to 15 to maybe the rest of his life i cant deal with this i cant seem to accept that this is how things are right now and maybe for a very long time. i want the pain to end i want all this to be a nightmare and i wake up from it soon. but i know this is not just a nightmare that its whats really happening. im hating the system more and more everyday. there is no justice what so ever in it. just had to vent some
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