Today was the first visit that my guy could have a 6 hour visit instead of 4. I didn't go. I was just too tired to get up at 6 and head out on that 3+ hour drive. I took my son to a concert Thursday (rock) it was from 4pm to midnight. I like a dummy stood on the floor with my son and my toes got smashed, neck popped (when some girl landed on my head) and thrown around when the crowd got too crazy. It didn't take much and I went to stand at the side. I'm still recouping from that. I could leave now and get there to have a 4 hour visit, but still can't stomach the drive right now. I can't imagine spending over 6 hours in my truck today. I'm just so upset at myself over it because the visit would be great. Boring by the end of it, but great to just be in the room next to him. Holding his hand, getting hugs, and just being able to see him. So I'm angry at myself. I'm just too stressed and tired to make it. This month is such a busy month. I have to take my to cataract surgery this Tuesday. We're staying the night in the city because she has to go back Wed. Then the next Thursday for another check up. Then the next Tuesday and Wed. for the other eye then that Friday take my dad for hernia surgery then the next Thursday mom's last check up (hopefully) then May 5th court. So it's me working non stop trying to make up all those off days... I'll be making a trip on Saturdays and working every single day that I am in town.. I think this is the month that every other weekend visits will take place. To save my sanity and to save what money I can. It just upsets me that I didn't tough it out and go today... If he was just an hour away I'd be there, but 3+ really kills me. At least it's kinda my choice this time to not go. So I'm not nearly as upset as I have been when it was other things stopping me. I just hope he calls soon so he isn't sitting there waiting.. And I hope he isn't too disappointed..
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