My husband has been incarcerated for 4 years; it seems that we go through the same things over and over again and always end up in the back in the same hopeless spot; I want us to grow,& mature in our relationship, & resolve our issues and be able to relax just a little and ride this time out; I'm learning that my expectations are very unrealistic; we aren't living the same life and frankly I teeter back and forth on the decision to step a few steps back and take a really long break. I feel like it would be good for him too, because he's sooo stressed all the time. I think the "only" reason he wants to keep going is because he wants me to still be available in 27 months when he comes home, not because he wants to do this relationship now. He's always expected me to fail at being faithful, so I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. We have a terrible habit of turning the table on eachother. He wouldn't be doing this if it were the other way around and we have major trust issues; I feel like my best just isn't good enough and I'm tired of talking to him about how I feel, because I never get any understanding and nothing ever changes. I've threatened, but have never left him before, but I honestly feel like giving up. One thing that scares me about giving up, is that I know I'll have more peace in my life without him and that will prevent me from ever letting him back in again and the fact that I can't stand the thought of hurting him. Even though I'm being fairly vague, I hope some of you can relate with what I'm saying. I haven't been on in a couple months, (feels like 5). But I still check in. Missy
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