I've been in a slump all day. I've been anxiouse and fearful, and nervouse all rolled into one. Someone I was talking to last night made a comment about how much effort and heart I'm putting into dealing with this whole situation. Getting a job just so I could keep money on his books and on the phone so I could talk to him. Having the strength, sometimes seemingly out of no where, to wait for him. They said they just hoped that I wasn't putting all this effort in for nothing. I asked them what they meant and they said "I just hope when he gets out he appreciates you and treats you like a queen." So now I have these fears. You see I've never had the best ability to pick winners in guys, and while I know I realy love Greg, and I show it all the time, I DO wonder now what will happen when he gets out. Is he going to be appreciative for everything I did and how strong and loyal I remained even when it fealt like I was dieing just to keep breathing to get through another day? Or is he going to be like all the rest and just be a jerk as soon as the dust has cleared? So I have these thoughts of "is all this worth it?" I don't know what kind of man is going to be returned to me, and I'm a little insecure as to whether it's worth waiting for that guy or if what I'm going to get back is someone totally different and heartless. Has anyone else had these fears? how did you get through them?
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