For anyone that knows... I was expecting my girlfriend to be coming home in JULY...of 2009 that is. However ... when the court date came... the prosecutor made Amber look like a MONSTER..... they sent her to the STATE PRISON for 0-5 years. ..... WOW. Amber had prepared herself for the worst... but I had not. I didn't even think for a second that she wasn't going to be coming home. I was speechless... didn't even know what to say.... both of us had no choice obviously than to GO WITH what was happening. She was was transferred to the prison... I actually was a little happy because I thought I was going to be able to see her ... ACTUALLY have CONTACT visits... well.... NEWS for me... my visitation application was DENIED.... due to a misdemenor in JUNE for theft (that actually wasn't even my fault! --- they all say that ! lol, i know.... ) .... so for the time Amber is locked up... I will not ever be able to see her. To me ... this felt like a dead end... I felt SO defeated.... for about 3 weeks ... I lost ALL contact with Amber... no letters... No calls.... obviously NO VISITS.... I don't know how to accept things I can not change... the serenity prayer is nothing but empty words to me lately..... At this point... Amber and I have talked... we have a lot better of a understanding now.. of where we stand with eachother.. she knows my love for her is unconditional... I just DESPERATELY need help with HOW to get through the next 0-5 years!!!!! ... her board date is november 19th- maybe they will just give her a year! ..... WHO KNOWS...... for those of you who have loved ones locked up for years.... HOW DO YOU DO IT!? ..... How do you live.....when you other half is absent? ....
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