
Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

deleted_user
I am in a angry mood! I am so tired of hearing about all of these new tough on crime laws. Don't get me wrong, I do think that prison time is needed to get some of these guys back on the straight and narrow.... But I think the days of tough on crime are needing some change. I think after about a year in the system they get what they did!!!! Whats up with the 25-life charges.... do any of you really think its helping the streets stay any more safe???
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Yes, I want my husband home. That is where he belongs. And while there are people who shouldn't be in prison at all...there are some that should never, ever get out.
Unfortunately, though they are giving heavy duty sentences like this sometimes to ones where it is their first offense.
First time to get in trouble.
And young.
That I do not understand. Giving yrs that are more than double the person age.
Yes....take all facts in account, treat each case as if it was their son or daughter or husband or wife and they might be more reasonable about the time for those guilty.
I do not think most want theirs to get off scott free unless they are innocent. But everyone hopes that if they are guilty the time is reasonable. But their being reasonable for first offenses, are not that reasonable, in many cases.
The repeat offenders too....there is another issue....how many end up back in because someone wanted them guilty for a crime because they were found guilty before...so handy one to blame. Sometimes that is the case.
What is the answer?
I know one who is always right.
That is the way I find comfort.
Love Rhea
No. I bet not.
Somehow in their minds all of us and loved ones in prison are guilty, including themselves. But it is okay because of whatever when it is one of them.
I do not hear of them getting 25 yrs.
Why? They either got money of influence to get them out of it. How fair is that?
How impartial?
How can they see themselves diffferntly than our guys or gals?
When they are guilty, or pressumed guilty, until you have thoroughly proven your innocence. It is the same thing? But do we hear long sentences for such going ons?
No. they consider they have differnt...... they think they have different circumstances,
they are not like others whom have been convicted of whatever crime, they should receive less time...less punishment.
Why? They are if anything more guilty if guilty. They were policing the system and they were not uncorrupt themselves. How right is that?
I could go on. ...but I will quit.
Love Rhea
Even repeat offenders there are circumstances that should be taken into consideration. If someone goes in for selling drugs the chances are pretty darn good that they will go back in for the same crime because they now cant find a legit job because of that conviction and there are a lot of times where they dont have the resources or skills to help them get a legit job and go back because they know they can atleast make money to live.
Our judicial system is so insanely focused on punishing the crime that they have completely and totally forgotten or even ignored what happens to these people when they get back out to the "real" world. What happens to the kid who is 18 - 25 who has no job skills before going in but spend 10 years in prison for something stupid? What skills or training do they have when they get released? What are their chances of ever being able to find gainful legal employment?
I dont think that everyone should get off scott free but they need to learn something useful not just survival skills or how to become a better criminal while they are in prison especially if they are sentenced to decades as their punishment. Plus how about how once a criminal always a criminal and you are now less than a human being and cant be trusted.
Sorry it just angers me because I really honestly feel that our judicial and criminal system is SKREWED UP!!! My cousin got pulled over FIVE times for DUII........the worst thing they ever did to him was make him pay and go to diversion classes yet there are people who can do the same thing and they can get YEARS in prison for it.
sorry for ranting I am a little passionate about this kind of stuff.
My son is spending time for a crime he didn't commit. I cannot tell you how frustrating that is. But I'm so proud of what he's done with his time there - got his GED, got an Associate's degree, learned to make eyeglasses and now works in the plant in the prison. He knows he's there for the duration, so why not make the most of it?
MamaBear, you're angry and frustrated, but didn't you meet Freddy while he was in prison? You knew what you were getting into. The system isn't designed to bring families together, or to choose who "gets it" and who doesn't... it's designed to punish.
I know sentencing laws aren't fair and need to be changed. I know the parole and appeals boards aren't designed to help prisoners. I'm hoping that this new administration will help us change that.
Let me ask you this, if your son/daughter/grandchild were murdered, would you be satified if the offender spent a year in prison or would you want them put away for a while? For every offender there is a victim - sitting there asking for what they consider justice to be. We often forget the other side.
Although I agree with canrerbr, the fact is that many will reoffend when they get out because they have not received any treatment for what got them sent away in the first place. In addition they cannot find jobs, housing or medical treatment and are left with very few friends and family members.
We as a country imprison one out of every one hundred men. We have a higher rate of imprisonment than any other free country and more than Russia and China. What does that say? It says there is something very, very wrong going on. Police look to solve a case as quickly and conveniently as possible, and damn the evidence in many cases. Prosecuters look to boost their conviction rate.
Keeping people out of jail involves education, treatment and a compassionate system that takes every case individually into consideration.
I agree many need to be given stiff sentences but the individual circumstances have to be looked into. One size does not fit all.
Donna
I have actually been on the other side. My cousin who was also my best friend and the closest thing I ever had to a sister was murdered by her boyfriend while she was sleeping. He was sentenced to 17 years. In a way I think that it should have been more but in another way I think that it will probably be enough.
I think it should have been more because the reason he did it was because he was going to loose her. He did leave the house they were at, went back to his house to get the gun, came back and shot her, and then went back home and told his mother what he did. To me that is nearly premeditated because he had lots and lots of time to do something else.
I think that it may be enough time because I dont know that he would do this again and by the time he gets out of prison he will be a middle aged man.
They only gave him 17 years because they said he was mildly retarded....he has a low IQ....and was not fully aware of the consequences and such...perhaps that is the type of person who should be scary to society I dont know because one never knows. But in the end as was said one size doesnt fit all when it comes to sentencing....the circumstances should be the #1 consideration in my opinion.
Even if it were my son that did it to my daughter I would hope and pray that the judge would look at not only the outcome but what led up to it.
I dont know if I am really conveying my point properly or not but I do understand what you are saying and I dont think that someone should spend decades in prison honestly for anything........however for the ones that keep doing the same thing over again make the punishment harsher each time. The three strikes laws I can agree with to a point and if someone keeps doing something at some point maybe they should throw away the key.
If my son killed my daughter then I would grieve for two children, because he would be dead to me and I wouldn't care how long they put him away for.
If someone can kill a family member they need to spend some time behind bars. The prison system is about punishment, it's not about worrying if Mom and Dad are inconvenienced. Maybe the kid should have thought of that before committing a crime.
Jan
Dawn
I have chewed on this for a while longer and I think that perhaps I have a better answer to this question that you asked me.
If my son performed direct actions that resulted in the death of my daughter.....ie......shot her, stabbed her, poisoned her, beat her with a 2x4.....my heart would be shattered because I can honestly say that he should be behind bars for a very long time. Reason being is that if he could do something like that to his own sister, someone who has been there with him his whole life what could he do to some stranger on the street? As much as I love my son if he did something like that I could never see him as the little boy that I loved ever again. How could I be able to look at my son and love him and forgive him while knowing what he did?
Now if the circumstances were different say they are in a car accident and it was proven to be his fault through one thing or another and as a result she died......It is not the same at all in my mind. They could put him away for 30 years but this is a situation that the chances of ever happening again are slim to none. He did not intend on the accident let alone on his sister dying, it was an accident.
The law and sentences should not be so black and white as they are. There is guilt or there is innocence and that is all that there is and that isnt right because there are so many factors and variables to every case. That is why I get so angry with mand. mins because of the fact that if found guilty it doesnt matter you still have to do X number of years in prison because that is what everyone found guilty of that crime has to atleast serve.
Everyone involved in criminal activity be it offender or victim or family of either side someone has to have the burden. Depending upon the crime involved can determine the amount of burden that those involved suffer.
When the man convicted of molesting my daughter was sentenced to 4 year, 4 years of probation after that, and registered. The DA ran this plea by us because we could have honestly had much more time......closer to 14 year or more in prison yada yada.....but that is not what we wanted. We wanted him to know that he did not get away with nothing......I didnt want him in jail forever but he did need to be there for a while and my daughter lived with knowing what happened for 4 years in silence so it felt fair that he serve that long.