Do you ever feel so angry at the person who's putting you through this? Chris always tells me how hard it is for him in there that he's missing out on our son's life and his parents' health problems...yes, it has to be hard for him not being here, but what about us? I get so angry and frustrated sometimes. It's hard for me too, I'm raising a baby all by myself, pay bills, put gas in my car, work my ass off to provide all of this for us, and he's sitting in prison not being able to do jack. He'll tell me that everything is going alright for him to be able to get out in a few months, but what about now? I don't even like when he talks about when he'll be able to get out, because it just makes me sadder and angrier. For him, it's exciting, for me, it's another 5, 6, or 7 months....what about this month, and the next? I have a hard time being able to grasp the concept that 6 months or so isn't that long, but when it comes to the here and now, it feels like a lifetime. And it may be longer than that, we still don't know exactly when he's coming home. I feel for you ladies who have to wait years, I really think I would give up and I commend you that are sticking by your men, I wish I could be as strong as you are, because I doubt I could handle that. I told Chris if he was in there until 2011 (his max date) I would wait, but honestly, I don't think I could, but I would never tell him that until the time came when I was fed up. I have so many mixed emotions on this. I'm so tired of the high phone bills, rushing to get home in time for his calls, and only getting two 15 min calls. He hasn't been calling as much because of the phone bills, but I HATE not being able to talk to him!!! I just can't afford it all with his phone calls and everything else. I'm always the one that stays positive for him, but how can I when I'm not feeling so positive lately? Well I guess I just wanted to vent a little.
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