Where does one even start. I cannot begin to process all of the emotions, fears, hurts that are swirling through me right now - My wife told me on Saturday - I knew something was wrong, there have been some problems, but we were getting them sorted out and I am just in the 2nd month of a new job- that I can't screw up, there is definitely too much at stake here for that. I have promised to stand by her - and want to have some sort of a relationship when this is all done. I love my wife desperately, and know how scared she feels right now. She has never been with a woman, but has asked for my permission to explore a relationship with a woman, to see if it is what she really wants. I said OK - both because I was in shock, and because, quite frankly I am hoping to find some kind of a solution- I know I am deceiving myself, but because I love her, I also want to protect her - even if that means destroying myself in the process. I have started the process to get professional help, and have reached out as much as I feel I can to my support network, next steps are to get busy - join groups, anything not to be at home nights when she is out on a date. We are supposed to keep everything 'normal' for Christmas, but I am dying on the inside, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely function