Run! If he truly loves you he will be with no one BUT you. Treat yourself better. There are partners that are capable of true love. It is hard enough to trust when thing are clear.

I've been with my husband for 13 years and married for 8! Have 3 small children! He recently admitted to being gay! total shock to me! I agree RUN! it's a horrible situation but it's even worse with children involved as you are trapped and responsible for thier emotional development as well as your own! Please treat yourself better!!!XXXXX

Hanspam- Sorry, but i am in FULL disagreement. Your children will develop normally IF YOU ARE HONEST WITH THEM. My mother left my father when i was a small child (but old enough to understand things) for a woman and they were always open and honest with me about the situation. Due to this i am completely normal and accepting of everything. One of my biggest happinesses is that i have not one, but TWO moms. :o)
Pat- did you ever think of staying with this man and just playing to his bisexuality, or are you uncomfortable with this? Maybe have a 3some with another man, watch gay porn together, etc. Just because he also likes men does NOT mean he does not love you. If you are forcing him to keep in the closet about his feelings for men is he WILL do it secretly.

I think in sitautions like this to be honest we all have to find our won way and do the very best we can with in our own situations and judgements! I'm not sure there is a one size fits all solution as all aour circumstances are similar yet different, we live in different cultures and have differnet feelings and beliefs. Good luck to you all xx

If he is sleeping with men now while you are currently with him, leave him. He obviously doesn't love you or he wouldn't be cheating on you with anyone, men or women. If you really love him and know that he loves you, can you accept that he may want to watch gay porn sometimes? Because he may like certain things but really love you and not ever act on them. Talk to him about what he needs, and if it isn't what you want, leave and find someone who will love you and make your life better! Good luck!

I don't agree that you should "run". The man you love has been decieving you. That is hurtful and confusing. But I don't believe that he intended to hurt you or took any pleasure in hiding this from you. It may be that he is confused and ashamed of himself. This could also be the reason he won't talk to you about it. Let him know that you are willing and open to talk about his feelings but only tell him that if you truly are. My boyfriend is bisexual. Although he is comfortable with it now, he told me in the begining he was ashamed of the things he did because he did not understand it. Over time and with support he learned to accept himself and is now comfortable talking about it. He has complete trust in that the fact that even though I don't understand it (because I am not bisexual), I would never judge him and accept and love him for who he is.
My advice is to try and forgive him. Let him know he can trust you not to judge him. If you cannot stay in a relationship with him, there is nothing wrong with that either. You have to do what makes you happy as well. Just try and understand that he has turmoil about this too or he would have been honest to start with. I hope I helped a little. If you decide to stay with him and ever want to talk, I am here.

I could not agree more. People are too quick to up and run when it comes to something difficult rather than try to be supportive and find out what's going on. You seem very wise.

Hi, I'm brand new to this site. I am married (2 yrs) and 41 and I think my husband is gay. He participates in gay-bashing in front of me but when under the influence admits he's bisexual, at least. Now he doesn't want to touch me or talk about it but I found that he is going to gay porn sites while telling me his is just not in the mood. He denies it fiercly, even violently at times. He has been back & forth with admitting that he is bisexual and would like to explore that with me (swinging) to complete denial and shut-down towards me. He won't initiate sex and I seem to have the same complaints as most men do in heterosexual relationships. Such as he is a "dead" screw (just lays there and does nothing), he has a head ache or is too sick, pushing me away when I touch him intimately etc. etc. He knows if he comes out to me I will still love him and he knows I am willing to explore swinging. I am so hurt & confused. Any advice?

I am in a similar situation. I just found out that my boyfriend of 5 years confided in his dad that he has not been intimate with me because he has been desiring me. He loves me and wants a life with me and just tells me he is going to change his ways because he's been doing a lot of other crap and that he is willing to go to counceling again. He once said he will have sex with me because I want to even though he won't enjoy it. I won't accept that. He doesn't know I know he desires men. How am I to handle this?