I'm new and so happy to find this place. I feel like I'm losing my mind some days. My 29 year old daughter, wife and mother of 2 small children, recently got out of rehab for heroin addiction. (she started with coke and meth) Over the year that she was using, I could see her deteriorating before my eyes, but of course she claimed I was over-reacting,etc. Worse, her husband was in denial, and was "sure" that he'd know if she was using. Well, eventually it became obvious, and she went into rehab for 2 weeks. Not nearly enough time, but insurance would only cover the detox time. She started out being pretty open about things when she came home, going to meetings, etc. But in the last few weeks, she's started to keep her distance again. Then I found out she's started to hang out with some friends who also have a history drug abuse. One of those has been clean for 4-5 months, so my daughter says she's not worried about any bad influence or temptation when they're together. (this person has been in rehab a number of times) My gut is telling me to pay close attention to this....I'm getting that "uh-oh" feeling again. I wasn't sure if I should talk to her, or how to talk to her without getting her angry, so I told her husband that I was worried that these friends may not be a very healthy influence. He clearly didn't want to hear it, and he told her what I said. Her reaction was to send a text message saying she doesn't need gossip and suspicion in her life...she can choose friends no matter what I think...why don't I even give her a chance to prove herself before I jump to conclusions. She stopped short of cutting off our relationship totally, though it was clearly implied. So- part of me thinks that she's using the old manipulation/deflection technique again- get mad at the messenger instead of dealing with the real issue. And part of me feels guilty for being suspicious. We've had a rocky relationship in years past, so I start thinking that maybe I am too nosy, or critical, or whatever. Am I supposed to be blindly supportive of her? What if she's heading for trouble again? Do I say something, or just wait until I have to take care of her babies again? She's only been out of rehab for 2 months- will it ever get easier to know what to do?
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