Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I worry about my mom. A lot.
Over the past seven years, she's been through a nasty relationship with my step-dad, went through a nasty divorce, my grandmother had a stroke and then a brain aneurysm (she's fine now), and my mother's biological father died. Needless to say, she's been through quite a bit of stress, and because of that it has led to a massive drop in her weight, her hair started falling out, she has red blotches on her scalp from scratching (she happens to scratch herself when she's anxious), and she's been drinking quite a bit.
She drinks nearly everyday, after she gets home from work. Usually this is considered normal, but I think normal cuts off when you've had about 6-7 glasses of wine and maybe a few glasses of rum. She turns into a completely different person when she drinks. Someone I don't like being around. She becomes loud, emotional, and sometimes she says very hurtful things.
I've tried telling her about my feelings toward her drinking and that I was worried about her health, but she pretty much gave me the "I'm the mom. I know what I'm doing. Stop worrying." thing. Once she got drunk and she called my 16 year old sister a bitch to her face. My sister said, "Well, if she's gonna call me a bitch then I guess I'll start acting like one." And she dumped all of the liquor in the house right down the sink.
At first my mom seemed mildly amused but later she got really heated about what my sister had done and said, "This weekend, I'm going to get drunk and there's nothing either one of you can do about it."
I just don't know what to do. It hurts to even think about it. I feel like the relationship with my mom is suffering because of her drinking.
Over the past seven years, she's been through a nasty relationship with my step-dad, went through a nasty divorce, my grandmother had a stroke and then a brain aneurysm (she's fine now), and my mother's biological father died. Needless to say, she's been through quite a bit of stress, and because of that it has led to a massive drop in her weight, her hair started falling out, she has red blotches on her scalp from scratching (she happens to scratch herself when she's anxious), and she's been drinking quite a bit.
She drinks nearly everyday, after she gets home from work. Usually this is considered normal, but I think normal cuts off when you've had about 6-7 glasses of wine and maybe a few glasses of rum. She turns into a completely different person when she drinks. Someone I don't like being around. She becomes loud, emotional, and sometimes she says very hurtful things.
I've tried telling her about my feelings toward her drinking and that I was worried about her health, but she pretty much gave me the "I'm the mom. I know what I'm doing. Stop worrying." thing. Once she got drunk and she called my 16 year old sister a bitch to her face. My sister said, "Well, if she's gonna call me a bitch then I guess I'll start acting like one." And she dumped all of the liquor in the house right down the sink.
At first my mom seemed mildly amused but later she got really heated about what my sister had done and said, "This weekend, I'm going to get drunk and there's nothing either one of you can do about it."
I just don't know what to do. It hurts to even think about it. I feel like the relationship with my mom is suffering because of her drinking.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
We cannot reason or talk with and addict. The alcohol/drugs are in charge. It is a terrible thing to see, but as soon as we understand that we are POWERLESS over this disease we stop trying to reason/make sense with it, and we start out journey to take good care of us. Al-ateen is for teenagers of addicts. It is a wonderful support group as is al-anon for those a bit older. We need to learn how to cope, and how to set boundaries when there is addiction in the family. You need that support and as soon as you get that, you will begin to feel better.
Recovery is really the only answer for our addicts. We cannot LOVE them into recovery and we cannot talk them into recovery. This is something that they must do for themselves.
Of course this hurts. It hurts terribly to see our loved ones so sick.
Please keep coming here for support and please seek out some face to face meetings for you and your sister. Learn all that you can about addiction so you understand that this is NOT YOUR FAULT and that the person you see, is not your mom. The alcohol is in charge, and as long as she drinks, she will not be someone that you can reason with, as I said.
I will add you to my prayers, and again, please reach out. You do not have to do this alone..
EllaBlue
God Bless and Stay Strong.
It's hard for ME to even think/say that my mom may have an alcohol addiction. Harsh truth is just too hard for me to handle.
Right now I'm just trying to be there for her when she's feeling down. I wish she would come to me like she used to with her problems and like I do with her. We used to talk about everything, and now it feels like we hardly talk about anything. At least the things that matter, anyway. It just plain sucks.