Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
There is only one word to describe the on going hurt I feel from my mom and it is that it just SUCKS! As some of you may or may not know- mom became homeless (literally) and there is nothing I can do about it. Why you have that people who just dont get it saying to you- just put her in rehab- just let her live with you- as i am sure most of you know this does not work! SO that is not my point- my point is that today some lady (an owner of a crappy hotel) called me today. At this moment i was standing in target looking at this jacket on how I wanted to buy this 40.00 jacket. To give you a bit info- she has been staying at this hotel with random men. So they had my number on file bc I (my family) paid for her to stay there at one point. Anyways, back to looking at the jacket. I answer that phone and she says your mom has been wondering around here for about three days now and has just been waling into peoples room. The people have been complaining and she gave her many warning to leave. Which of course she did not so the police had to remove her. So there she goes walking to hwy 41. So i looked at that jacket and was like what am i doing. my mom has no place to live and i am here looking at this stupid jacket when she has nothing. I happen to not be far and freak out crying and drive around looking for her. Which makes no sense because I can not bring her into my home with my children. I can not keep paying for her to stay some where to get trashed when I have my own bills. So my husband called and i was crying and he is like you need to get home. I knew this. I just can not stand this anymore. I do not even talk to her but yet I know everything about her. I hate this so much. I hate that she could be sleeping in the woods, I hate that she is sleeping with all these men. UGGG I HATE THIS. What really sucks is that this is never going to stop. Until unfortunately this behavior kills her. I know that sounds morbid but it is true. And even then it will not be gone. It will just be hurt in a different way. So this just sucks. Well, I would change my smiley face but i cant because I dont know how. ha anyways, thats me for today! thanks oh and ps. i did not re-read this so if it sounds all messed up. sorry
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
You have set boundaries, which are EXTREMELY important, not just for you, but for your husband, children and most importantly, your Mother. I'm sure you think that there's no one who could imagine your anguish or situation, but please know there are many who have been in your situation, whether or not the exact same, there are people who can empathize with you. You seem to be an extremely strong person with overwhelming family values and there's no better than that!
I have to say that I absolutely admire you for not only the person you are but for the way you handled that very hard situation. I am not one to give advice, but I do like to give quotes, so here goes: Remember who YOU are and what YOU want. Being the spouse of an addict I learned something in their Family Progam that I will never forget:
The 3 C's:
You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and you can't CURE it.
The biggest revelation I had was not to focus on the C's, but that of the DIDN'Ts and CAN'TS!
So here's another saying that I hope might give you some future help:
There are only 2 things in this world that you can change: Yourself and YOUR future!
AND,
There are only 2 things in this world that you CAN'T change: Other people and your past!
Sending BIG hugs and prayers to you and your mothers way. May you both find the peace, love and happiness you BOTH deserve.