I'm moving forward, and things are starting to turn around for me. Last night while having to look up some information on STBX's computer for my attorney-regarding his work and fax info. I found once again that my gutt was right on. He downloaded porn 1 day after our anniversary-So his addiction, has him. Oct, Nov, Dec. the last three months--using--while we were in counseling and he's kept these from me-his wife. The closest thing I can relate it to is finding a bottle of whiskey, of one who says he's a "recovering alcoholic" hidden in the sheets when you go to put fresh new ones on your bed. It didn't hurt as much when I found it this time--but the lieing and deceit is so hard to look at! As the counselor said, he's self-sabotaging and he sabotaged our marriage--in more ways than one. Reading the book "Women who love too much" has helped a bit, and I can see where I played my role--but I wasn't comfortable in it....because I was getting healthier. What do you do or how do you cope with being deceived? It hurts to look at our pictures together, because he was never really available or committed to this relationship...how could he be while all wrapped up in his addiction(s)??
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