Hi busymom. My daughter is the addict in my life. The best advice that was ever given to me was that I could only trust my daughter "one day at a time". And the addict has to ask themselves ONE day at a time if they can trust themselves.

Addiction is tough. There are no guarantees and no cure. There is only treatment. Relapse is a very common part of this disease, and it happens often. Another thing that helped me, was to know they they are not doing this "TO" us, although, it really does feel personal. I understand how you feel. When using, the drugs are in control, and they are very sick, and they will not make good choices.

Getting clean is just the beginning of the healing. The tough part comes with them learning to live their lives without the drugs, working a STRONG recovery program and committing to that.

We all understand. I am sorry for your pain.

Most important is that you find support for you. We do learn to restore our peace and serenity as we travel this tough road. Addiction is a family disease and we all need our help and support.

CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie is a wonderful book. She is a recovering addict and she gives us such insight. You can get it at your local library.

See about face to face meetings in your area. Either al-anon or nar-anon. They are support groups for us, the loved ones of the addict.

Keep posting:) You will find such wonderful people here.
Blessings..
EllaBlue

You decide when enough is enough. A counselor once told me, if you have to ask, you already know the answer. but if you are waiting to get back with him - it doesn't sound like you have had enough. You aren't listening to your innerself which is telling you to be scared...

i didnt trust my partner either i found with my partner tho i didnt want to give up on us, so i didnt.; i didnt trust what he was saying but if you want something so much you dont give up on it. we/i have learnt to trust him agian but i do sometimes doubt him but overall i seem to tust him again.