
Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
what do you do when you cant cut the chord??

deleted_user
You see, Im one of thease over annylizing people who doesnt know how to turn her brain off. I have no idea what i should do because my head definatly says no but my heart is definatly saying stay. I wanna stay because when he doesnt use he is awsome... My best friend. I dont know how to be with out him. The other part is saying, I cant deal with his cocain addiction and im going coo coo because of it. when he uses i get so frustrated and hurt and pissed because i have absolutly no coping skills to handle his relapses. I want to support him for the sake of him and espechially the kids but god, its so hard. My friends dont understand that the reason i stay is because I have faith in him and i love him but ive also lost friends because Iv stayed. Im a stay at home mom and im hoping to go to college in january. and think that he will hurt my chances of doing good because i cant handle the relapses. But my kids are a nervous wreck when hes not there and it breaks my heart. I know if i duke it out and things do work out id be the happiest gurl in the world. Im so confused!!!!! Every time i do leave him, ill be fine then when i see him i just cant be away from him. I feel like hes my evil addiction. Im so lost!! PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVISE!!!!!!!! This is so hard!! My head hurts!!
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I believe you can only make the right decision when you have all the facts.
All my Best.
It is hard to trust. He sleeps on the floor in my apartment. I too feel this addiction to him,and I have this hope that he will come back, be sober and life will be happy. The worst part is that I am 44 years old and wonder if I am a bit dillusional. Hope there is some positive stories.
I plan on keeping my eyes open and going to al-anon. I am still angry and I am keeping him at arms length. He will have to prove himself and then there will be lotssssss of counseling for me.
This is not advice only a I feel your pain.
Good luck
One thing I do know is that if we do not take GOOD care of us, detach with love, we will get as sick as they are without doing the drugs. I say that often, but for me, I found it to be so true. I had to realize that I could not change another person and even love will not cause someone to seek recovery. It really is an "inside" job.
I love my daughter more than life, and letting go of those things that I could not control, were very hard.
But once I was able to do that, and take care of me, I did feel better.
I hope you feel better soon. Maybe get and read the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It is a really inspiring read.
Blessings....and I am sorry for your pain.
EllaBlue