Today I had my first meeting with a Care Coordinator (therapist) at a place called Wellplace. In that hour she helped me understand that addiction is a disease though I kept telling her its a choice...she gave me proof but I just think its my anger inside on why addicts keep going back for more hurting their health, the people they love, their children, their job, etc. This is all so new to me and though I'm looking forward to next weeks 'group meeting' to meet some other women in my shoes. To be honest I know no-one around me that is living with an addict (besides you guys). My family/friends I grew up with did not have addictions...I'm not saying my family/friends are perfect but I just gravitate toward people in my church or people like me. So how the heck did I marry an addict I will never know? Only God has a reason why I was put into his life---boy my husband does call me his angel for staying with him (he is 40 days clean). The only sad thing is my insurance does NOT pay for me--well it pays 40% but the service was over $100 today for first visit and then Group Therapy for me is $70 and I have to pay $28 each time I go. Why is it that the addict abusive addiction thearapy is covered by the one he abused who needs just as much help is not covered? We are the ones who suffer also and these insurances upset me. It can add up but its worth it for me as I need to take care of me which I never did for my entire marriage. I took care of my kids of course then was always being a spy or wondering where my husbnad was? I'm hoping they can give me the tools I need to focus on me---I still focus on my husband and feel like that is all I know---I'm hoping in time I will find some peace.
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