I wanted to take a moment to let all of you know I hope this is your last holiday as a member of this community. I wish for all of you (including myself ... my sister & nephew are addicts)that next year we can belong to a community for "recovering addicts"! Also,as a former addict myself I wanted to let you know that I see the struggle so many of you are having being firm with those you love and I know you wonder if you are doing the right thing. I want to tell you YOU ARE! My Mom & Dad apologized to me the other night for being so hard on me before I got clean. I have liver cancer now and I am increasingly going downhill so I guess guilt played a big part in their apology. At any rate at the end of my drug use I was not allowed in the house. If I was lucky enough to have them answer the door I was confined to a few minutes on the porch even in the rain. I was sleeping wherever I could lay my head. Usually at a fellow addicts house. I had stolen checks, pills, & money from my parents home. I was becoming well known to the police in our area also. I spent 2 weeks in jail without so much as a "Hello" or "get Lost" from my family. Since I didn't have anyone to bring me money for commissary i had to borrow or steal necessities from other inmates (a dangerous practice in any jail). I got caught taking a spoon of Kool-Aid belonging to another girl while there and they held me down and cut all my hair off. They had requested scissors from a guard to "trim someones bangs" and the guard gave it to them! Well, my point is this...if my parents had not done what they did I would not have went for help. They stopped telling me or asking me to get clean. That wasn't working anyway...I had to want it. Did I think they were being cruel to me? Absolutely. I was thin, dirty, and sick. I blamed them for it. yet when I decided I wanted to get help they opened their door. They had a deadbolt on their bedroom door and I was watched like a hawk but in time the clouds lifted. Today, they have total trust in me again and it feels wonderful. My mother ask me to watch her purse the other day while she went in the next aisle of the store. Last year that would NEVER have happened. I have been surrounded by Oxycontin when my sister is here (the on that is addicted) but the thought never entered my mind to take one. When she overdosed it was me that hid all of her pills from her. Now I would have hid them last year but it would have been in my stomach...LOL So to all of you wondering this Christmas if things could ever be the same again I want to tell you they can. If i saw the light after 10 years than trust me there is hope for your loved ones and mine. God Bless & Happy Holidays
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