Need some encouragment and advice. My husband has had an addiciton to heroin for the past 4 years. He hit a big time low in May and I had him committed. He was out of our home for almost 3 months. I let him come home because he was doing so much better, he was not using, and I gave birth to a daughter in Augusut. He has also been on medication to level out his crazy mood swings (Prozac). Things were going ok until I had to come back to work from maternity leave. I have had some suspicion that he has used again but he keeps telling me he has not touched heroin. I do know that he has used cocaine though. So heroin I know will be next in the rotation. Because of all the pain from the last 4 years I do not trust my husband to care for our 4 year old son and 2 month old daughter. My in-laws, his parents are taking care of them during the day even though my husband is at home because he is out of work. I know this can be a trigger for him but I just don't trust him enough to care for our children. I went through some rough years with him taking care of my son. He was at the point of taking our son to his dealers home and I cannot let that happen again. So, although he may not be using heroin I know he is still in contact with his dealer. My husband gets mad at me when I don't let him be alone with our children. Just this morning he wanted to take our daughter to his parents home and I would not let him. I am too afraid that it is just a ploy to have the car (we only have one car since he wrecked our 2nd vehicle) and go to his dealers home. Does anyone think that in order for our marriage to work that I have to trust him again so soon? It has only been since May of 2009 that he went to rehad. He seems to think that I am being selfish and over reacting. But don't you think I need to trust my instincts? I used to let a lot of stuff go because I wanted to avoid an argument like asking questions about what the money is for and where he is going. I actually still do...I just don't know when to try to let myself trust him again. I mean if I don't try how will I know if I can ever trust him? I am completely torn and it makes angry that my husband doesn't understand why I am doing what I am doing. I am trying to do the right thing but the right thing still doesn't seem to be right. Any advice?
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