We love them so much. As WE hit our 72nd day of sobriaty and no Vicodin. I find myself reading these posts and wondering.

I am at peace, and she seems to be also. I determined and resolved to stop living with her addiction 72 days ago. I was just too wrecked from watching her kill herself.

I have never stopped loving HER, and never will. But,.....I am learning to love myself as selfish as that seems.

I want to stay with her for the rest of my life. I want to continue to feel the joy that being with her brings. I want the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the pleasures and pains that come with loving and being loved.

It just sucks a lot to have that one little (HUGE) thing that would end it all. It's always in the back of my mind, foating around like a little ghoast. It's hard to let go. But I have to maintain my resolve and she needs to know and believe that as much as I love her, I hate the pills, and will not live with them.

Thank you to all for the words of encouragement, and the place that I can come to not feel alone with this problem she and I share.

BTW: She is having dental work done for our wedding in February. Spoke right up and told the Dentist that Ibuprofin would be all she would need for the extraction. (I had to get a fresh shirt after popping all the buttons off with my pride in her new found strength). We took her Neice to the ER for an injury over the weekend, and she joked, "Sorry, I'm not going to buy these from you this time, you take them all". Made my skin crawl a bit, but the joking seems to releive her stresses some, so I'll get used to it.