My son was put in a rehab program in a correctional facility on Monday. He will be there for 3-5 months and I would like to think that it is going to help him but I have serious doubts. My husband and I have had his 4 children for the last 7 months and it has been a rough few months. The bio mom (my son's ex) is also an addict but is doing nothing to change. I fear we will be raising these kids until they are grown. In truth we have had them in our home for most of their lives. The only difference is now I refuse to take in the parents. I am done trying to help them in any way. I love my son and told him I would support him emotionally and will pray for him but will no longer help him financially in anyway. He doesn't seem to get the message because he has called me from jail several times to ask me to buy him a carton of cigarettes or bring him money. I keep telling him no but he doesn't seem to get it. I read the book that was suggested here, "Don't Let Your Kids Kill You" and learned a lot. I learned just how much I was enabling him without realizing it. I thought I was only doing it for the children but he was getting all the benefits as well. We have taken his entire family in 7-8 times in the last 13 years for an average of 1 1/2 years each time. He never helped pay anything and most of the time was not even working. I never thought I would be able to take care of his children by myself without the parents being here but we have managed for the last several months. I don't think the rehab will help my son because I am sure he just agreed to it to keep from going to a worse prison. The place he is in is very small and much nicer than most prison facilities. He is always sorry and willing to change when he is in jail but quickly forgets all those promises as soon as he gets out. He is still communicating with his ex wife who was also arrested with him and he is not supposed to be around her. Kind of tells me he is not serious about the program. Anyway, that is my story. I appreciate this group where I can come to vent to people who understand. I get a lot of "advice" from family and friends who really have no idea what it is like to live with an addict. I also joined the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren on DS also and it has saved my sanity!
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