
Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Part II : I'm In Love with a heroin addict...

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Hello again. Im just updating and venting about this past week. It wasn't good. It got so much worse. On Wednesday, he got fired from his job. It wasn't directly related to his using, but he had missed work on Monday beause he was dope sick and trying to stop using and apparently his boss is not a fan of call outs..which I think is pretty harsh considering it was his first call out....but either way...he was fired. That, of course, only made him more upset and down which just made him use more. He was crying and it was so hard for me to watch, considering that all the while I was angry and sad myself. He immediately started setting up other interviews, but of course took what little money we had left until payday and got high. It went on that way all weekend. He got "cotton fever" on Friday which scared the shit out of me and he promised that after it went away he was DONE. Well....it's tuesday...Im not at work (I work over night in a hospital) because I am just too burnt out from this, I was supposed to pay rent on Friday and now, not only am I way short of my rent...its late and I don't see any sign of getting the rest of the money anytime soon. He is expecting a paycheck today....but it won't even be enough. I can't even believe that I am in danger of losing our apartment due to this monster...this addiction that is ruining his life. Saturday he promised he was done and Sunday he promised he would try and yesterday...he didn't even bother. I cry and it appears to do nothing. I get angry and he just talks his way out of it. He manipulates me into making the decisions that ultimately lead to him using....I don't know how much longer I can do this....but I still see my loving man underneath this horrible mask. I know I can't save him...thats obvious. But I almost feel like I can't save myself. I can't imagine going through these hard times alone....but he is the reason I am going through them. As if this isn't bad enough...he has to go see his parole officer Wednesday and take a urine test....part of me feels like if he went back it would get him clean and we could start again when he gets home...but i can't do another stint of prison time without him here. Does that make me a horrible person? I don't even feel like myself and I can't believe how such a bright, fun, intelligent, gorgeous man can get himself in so deep. It breaks my heart in a million pieces and it is obvious that he doesn't care and Im crushed and lost. I guess I ultimately have to look out for my and our best interest even if he doesn't want to...but I feel my strength slipping away. I think of all the lies and I try to get mad to fuel my fire but I can't. Im tired and I don't know what my next move should be. I am going to start the group this weekend...hopefully that will help me gain perspective. Thanks for listening. I feel better...but I know it won't be for long.
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I have to be honest with you, as long as he's using, you can cry until your eyes fall out and it won't matter to him.He'd sell your eyes to get a fix if he could. I've been there,now I'm married to an alcoholic.I guess I have alot of nerve giving you advice. I'm sorry. It's just that you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. At 47, half of my life is over and I'm spending the second half of it married to an alcoholic.
What helped me a lot was talking to people in a similar situation. Also, Al-Anon is great. It taught me how to take care of myself. I taught me how to not accept unacceptable behaviour and how to take care of myself.
Please take care of yourself.
You are amongst friends here. Some of the toughest advice is what we need to hear most. Addiction is a disease, that left untreated progresses and it just gets worse from here. There is always hope and there is always help, but only HE can do this for himself. Once in recovery, we offer our love and support, but that truly is all that we can do.
There is nothing worse losing US over, and even if we totally lose US, they will go on with using, and nothing changes. It really doesn't. Now we just have two sick people in trouble.
You have my prayers and blessing and I agree that al-anon will help you in so, so many ways.
((Hug))
EllaBlue
But know that he cares, the drug is just sooo over powerful. We can't even imagine.