i am an addict and i know that i have put my dad through hell, i am reminded alot of how much i need to go for help, and try constantly to explain to my dad either i am okay (and sometimes i really am) or that i am trying to get into somewhere (which is true) but i just feel that my dad can never forgive me(and i can never forigve myself) for what i have done to my dad. for the past 4 or 5 years, my dad has been through constant hell, he has no idea where i am living or who i am living with, if i am even alive, or what is going on with me. i have been very angry growing up and then i got to a point where i wasnt angry, i was either very hyper or just distant and my moods are unexpentant, i have stolen from my dad, hit my dad, begged cried, and my dad has seen me use drugs, and dating older guys, bringing fucked up people to my house, moving out of my house unexpectantly, going to jail several times, and bringing the cops home with me alot, my dad knows i am a crackhead, but i am also a decent person and i know he is hurt, but he has changed alot and im not sure if he can forgive me, im not sure if i am going to be okay and it breaks my heart because i wish i could just for him at least... how do parents feel towards your kids, even though they ahve hurt you over and over and over again???
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