bad day yesterday so today i wanted a good dat. was my day off work so i thought "im gona have a day today where i do what i want" i stayed in my jarmas all day & watched tv, i read & replied to a few things on DS then had a chat with my daughter about her trip to york yesterday.(a city in the north of england) it was an ok day, then i remembered i needed petrol, i had half hour to go get some before picking my youngest up from school. on my way back while i was waiting at the traffic lights i just caught site of my ex turning down the road i was going up. my heart flipped. its the first time we,v seen each other since we split. he hasnt contacted me since i found out he,d moved his ex in with him. before that we had lots of contact, i didnt want to see him till he,d stopped the cocaine. he lied to me pretending he was still on his own (as they do) im not sure why he wont face me or even txt me just to admit he,s back with her. he knows im devastated. i dont think its shame or because he feels bad about it because he,s too detached to have any feelings. im pretty angry that he,s ruined my day just by driving past me. i dont know how he felt, he used to go to pieces before if he saw me after a fall out but like i said he,s detached from everything. he,s intruded my day. why cant he lock himself in his house or go live on a desert island till im over this. he lives very close to me but because my house overlooks the north yorkshire moors he has no reason to pass my house. theres nothing but the odd house. my chances of passing him are small because even though we live close we both take different routes to work, its hard to explain but im just a little angry & upset that he can make or break my day. cant wait for the day i wake with something else on my mind, i know it takes time but i want to fast forward so im my usual happy self.
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