Hi,I am new to this. I cant tell you how hard it was to begin to type. I have been married to the love of my life for 20years. We have 2 beautiful boys, a big house in a wonderful seaside community, and a thriving medical practice. By all accounts outsiders most likely think we have it all. I have spent my life trying to keep the practice going, protecting my children of the affects of dads abuse. The children believe life is good. For me I live a lie everyday. I work with my H as his manager in his practice. We both have poured our heart and soul into it. Not to mention alot of money. We live in a small town and our neighbors are our patients (everyone knows everyone)I know all of you are very aware of the heart ache, lies and constant fear living with someone that is addicted, so i want go through all of that, What I need to know is how do i end a marriage when both of us still love each other. Im very committed to our patients and feel that if I told him to leave it wouldt be anytime before he self destructed and we lost everything. Is this what I want for my children? He has been to rehab 2x and with in the past 3mo has began to use again. So the cycle repeats I lie when he cant go to work- I lie to the children when they ask where is dad- I put on a happy face at work when im crying inside. I really feel that im alone and my mind. So im here to see if anyone is in my same boat. Thanks
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