well I set my boundaries, and it has all been said before, but now he is playing mr nice guy, and its my pay day, he is living in his car and wants to come and see his son tonight, which means he will be picking me up from work. he tells me how much he loves me and wants us to be a family and how strong and beautiful of a woman I am and blah blah blah, I really just want him to go away I have gotten to that point, we were not enough for him when we lived together and he decided to stop working and smoke crack all day sending me into emotional and financial turmoil, the neighborhood has a poll going on "how much money is Mike going to ask Lennea for tonight? " I need to send some tough love I need to say thank you for the kind words but it is all just a little to late, I am sorry about what you are going through but you are not my responsibility any more, our son and I are my responsibility. I wish you the best for you and would like you to see your son and come back after you stay clean and get some help and we will talk in 6 months or so. This and so much more, but honestly guys I am making it worse, I do ok for awhile and then I say I love you back to him, I feed into his bull crap and I am not making it clear that I no longer want to be with him, I know it's self esteem issues and fear that he will do good run off and find a new woman treat her right and then say well if you just would have stuck by my side maybe you would not be living in that trailer with your parents still. I live in a small town with no computer access except here at work so I can not attend al anon meetings and can not do the online chats, you guys are all I have right now until I get a car. These issues I am having with myself are making it really hard for me to just say BUG OFF so maybe I need some tough love too.
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