Most of you know my story, my daughter starts using drugs, leaves home days after turning 18, moves in with loser boyfriend, etc. I haven't heard from her since July. We've been moving forward as best we can, but yesterday my 10yr old son's teacher calls and emails me. My son has been depressed at school for weeks, crying, and yesterday had a meltdown after an incident with another kid. I had to leave work I was so upset! I was driving to where my daughter lives; I wanted to bash her head up against the wall until she realized how much she has hurt everyone. (Very maternal huh?)I wanted to scream and yell, cry, whatever it took. Instead I turned around, went home and called my mom, drank a glass of wine. I thought if she only knew then she would stop this. I want to forward the email so she can see for herself, make her visit her brothers. Yet I know what will happen, she will drop into their lives for 5 minutes and disappear again for months. We will all have to start over again, again. I know I can't control it, but the longing is still there. The hope that something I do will make all the difference, stop the madness. Why am I back here? The worry, the hope, the anger, the frustration! She could care less and we are still broken.
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