Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hi my story is this, I ended a marriage in 2000 that wasn't good.My ex husband was abusive in every way going , addicted to coke and an alcoholic.Needless to say I spent along time getting myself back together again, focused on my family.I have 3 wonderful children, did alot of counselling etc...2 yrs ago I met a man, fell in love and had a child with.MY kids adore him, heck I adore him.He is an alcoholic.Today is the 3rd week and 2nd day he is sober.Needless to say the drinking got out of control.It hurt every aspect of our life.This great guy who professed to love me so much would get drunk and then proceede to tell me in nasty detail what he would like to do to you.I'm sure you get the picture.My choice was very simple either you leave or I leave or you do something about your drinking.Took him 6 months but he finally choose to do something about his drinking.I feel like a rotten person I have to tell you though, now I'm not happy because he doesn't do anything other than go to work aand when he's home he plays playstation non-stop.I started alanon and counselling etc....part of me is wondering if iI made the right choice in staying or if I'm better off just getting out.I feel like i'm on an emotional rollercoaster.This morning I get to take him to his 2nd back on track program.Myself I think he needs rehab also.He quit drinking cold turkey the only help he is getting is from this back on track program.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Regarding the fact that he spends all his time in aa - aa is the best thing for him. It will help him a lot. There is a chapter in the Big Book about the family of the recovering alcoholic. Try to read that, maybe it will help you understand.
Regarding his situation - Let go and let God. Just try to focus on your recovery.
But it sounds like he's gonna have to discover this on his own. Try to take care of yourself. Remember: the disease of alcoholism is very powerful, but: you didn't cause, you can't control it, you can't cure it. And you can't change anybody else but yourself.
The serenity prayer helped me a lot when I was dealing with an active alcoholic. Also, there are some really useful books out there. Try the 12 steps for codependents.
Good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers.
If I can ask what is the back on track program??? My husband attempted to stop meth on his own and that last about a month at the most. I wish the best and it would be great if cold turkey worked but I have my doubts just because of my situation. I finally told my husband rehab or leave. I made an appt. at a rehab place and he could either chose to go or leave his family. He chose to go and has been clean for over a 100 days. I also have had to adjust and also let go or try to let go of expecting him to do things my way in his recovery and also understand everyone does recovery different....I still struggle and am having a hard time. I feel for you- I would be mad to if that is what my husband did. My husband just went back to work and just started getting back on track with our family. It is a hard adjustment for the addict and I think the adjust on the family is sometimes forgotten with the focus being on the addict. It sounds like he replaced on addiction for another... Alcohol to palystation???? That isn't healthy either and rehab would help with that. Hang in there and the best of luck to you.
We cannot "run" their recovery and please, I say that with total compassion. So often we can see that maybe our addicted loved ones DO need more, but all we can do is make that gentle suggestion and then get to our next better place.
Remember ONE day at a time, keep taking good care of YOU and when you know what you need to do, you will know, and not one moment sooner.
(((hugs))
EllaBlue