
Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

deleted_user
I am new to all of this and I am concerned about relapse. My husband is in treatment for alcohol and drug abuse. He recently got to go back to work but still has meetings and classes to go to. This has been extremely hard on me. Hard to deal with and even harder to try to understand. I hear so many people talk about relapse. They talk about it like it is a definent. I praise those of you who can go through it again and again. I just do not think I could do it again. I know I can't. These past few months have been so stressful. I am staying physically and emotionally drained. I am literally sick. How can an addict just do it again and again when they have so much to lose? I guess because they are an addict, huh? I was just wondering about this because I keep hearing about relapse. It's like they are just given an excuse to use again.
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I don't think of the relapse as an "excuse" but I think of it as something that the addict and the families of the addict needs to understand. The addict needs to understand why and how a relapse happens. I heard that the relapse begins long before they pick up again. The using, is actually the "end" stage of the relapse. They begin a relapse when they become complacent, and when they stop doing all of those things that they need to do, to stay clean and sober. (meetings, talking to their sponser, and changing playmates, playgounds and playthings.)
Each relapse can bring them a step closer to their recovery. The is a very long road and there is no cure, only treatment. This is something that the addict will have to work at the rest of their lives.
We the loved ones, need our own recovery, because this is a family disease, in that we are all affected. For us, we need our support groups, be it coming here to this site, attending al-anon and doing all the things we need to do to maintain our peace and serenity. This is ongoing for us too, and we need to work at staying well.
Some people just cannot stay with the addicted love one. That is okay. Some can. I think it is important not to judge, but to help someone through their process. Love and understanding, goes a long way.
Although the addict is not doing this TO us, it surely does feel personal as it devastates families. The pain can be so big, that we wonder just how we are going to get through it.
BUT, the good news, is that we do. We cannot work their program FOR them, only they can do that. We can only work through this ONE day at a time, and make our decisions AS we learn more.
We are here for you. I will say a prayer for you and your loved ones.
EllaBlue
Many will say, relapse is part of recovery. It doesn't have to be, but often times it is. If the addict learns something - he/she moves forward in their recovery. Someone on here suggested I google PAWS, post accute withdrawal syndrome or Post addiction withdrawal syndrome. It really opened my eyes and educated me about the chemical changes that happen in the brain and what to expect. It didn't make it any easier, it just gave me more understanding. Relapse isn't an excuse - it is a relapse. Take care of yourself and remember, only you can do that. As is the same for the addict - only he/she can work their program and recovery.
GOD BLESS