I am so last and feeling so helpless. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and this summer he recently relapsed into heroin after an illness that had him taking percocets. He didn't tell me it had progressed to heroin and I found out on my own. I tried sooo hard to be supportive and not enabling to let him know I wouldn't leave just cause times got tough. He started lying about money and where he was and I realized that alot of things he had told me over those few weeks were lies too. Recently, he got a great job and made it sound like he was very dedicated to qutting this horrible stuff. He did the suboxone thing and I thought it was going well. I was seeing no withdrawal symptoms and he was happy and looking healthy. But then last week, he started going places he normally went with me alone and staying gone for hours. He stated he was working late EVERY NIGHT and told me he was lending a friend of his some money cause things were bad. I found out that all of that was a lie as well. He started using and got so mad when I asked where missing money was and if he needed additional help. This weekend, I let my gut feeling get away from me and I started snooping around to find out if his stories matched up. They didn't. I admitted what I did and he got so mad and it just gave him an excuse to push me further away. He won't even be intimate with me because he is so wrapped up in the lie and knows I am disappointed in what the drugs do to his libido. He still won't admit that keeping this from me and lying about where he is and what does are in fact LIES. He doesn't understand why I am hurt and why I feel like I can't help him. I know he is ashamed and doesn't want be to be disappointed, but I can't help it....he is pushing me away. I love him with all my heart and I am scared that I won't stop. He is headstrong and confident in every aspect of his life so he doesn't want to hear all the things he already knows about what he will lose by continuing this. I am so scared to lose him by not doing anything, but I am scared to lose him if I do. I don't know what to do to help him but it makes my heart hurt to see him suffering through withdrawal and being mean and secretive. If anyone has been through this or has ANY advice....please let me know. I am starting Nar-ANON meetings this weekend because I just need some guidance. It is soooo hard not to take this personally. We have slready started making plans to get married and I don't want his to be my life. I need all the help I can get! Thanks.
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...