I understand exactly where you are coming from. I kept taking back an addict (oxy) and hating that I was pulling the whole load while all I got was a "sorry", it wasn't fair, but then life isn't fair. It takes a lot to get past it, but you have to or it will eat at you.
I never could fully trust him again, I was never completely sure and since I have a script for those pills, I was locking up my medication and counting all the time. It was so hard to deal with, and I was glad to find support.

Wow, what a situation. I hope that I don't find myself in the same situation when my wife gets home from rehab in a few weeks. I realize that is a possiblity though. When does he plan on going back to work if he hasn't lost his job? I am realatively new to all of this, unlike some of the other posters, but I can tell that this is goign to be difficult. I kown what you mean about wanting to yell at them. My wife won't be able to go back to work because she lost her job and maybe her nurses license, we don't know about that yet. Maybe that's not the best field for her in retrospect. Keep your head up, I'll say a prayer for you.

What a crappy situation these addicts put us in. They're so selfish. They only think about their own needs. You want to strangle them for being so stupid. Well we cant. Can we trust them again? Who knows? What we can do is get on with our own lives. It's time for us to be selfish and find positive things to make us happy. I am not going to be so worried about my addict any more. I love him but I cant change him. Can I trust him? No. Trust needs to be built back up and that takes time. All I get is sorry also and I dont think thats enough for all the pain he's caused.

Although I am not married I understand what you are going through. I was there for my x through his rehab and he just got out the other day. (He is addicted to pain killers too) It is so hard for me to not scream at him and its even harder for me to stop bringing up the past. I think it is a sucky situation the rehab creates. Im glad my x went and he made a lot of progress but what about the rest of us out in the real world who dont have the luxory of sitting in group all day and putting it behind us. He came home and it was really hard for him to grasp the idea that it is still very much a part of my reality and it is not in the past.

Paitence is now my least favorite word but its all we can do. You are very lucky you got an apology- that takes a lot on his part. (it sounds like bull shit of course we deserve an apology for them ruining our lives but they cant do that until step 7) I just keep telling myself that things are bad now but they will get better soon. Good Luck!!!

PS just because he is in recovery he can still do some work around the house- dont let him use it has an excuse... trust me

i am not married ,and thank god my bf isnt an addict or anything but i do know where u r coming from.. its NOT your fault he did what he did .. sometimes their family doesnt want to see the whole picture and they say things they shouldnt, dont take anything they say to heart.. u r trying to deal with this as best u can..
my couselour actually told me if i wanna scream go out the front(or back) door and scream as loud and as long as i want.. its suppose to help.. i recommend it..**hugs**

Um.....I can relate to this in a way. My husband is an alcoholic who has been incarcerated a few times for his DWI's. I am caught in that same web. I know he's lied to me and decieved me and still I keep trusting him. He's been clean now for a little over 2 months, but I'm always waiting for him to slip then I take the fall. It's rough I know.
Niecey

I have a question tsarver.
During the time he was taking these pain pills, do you remember if he did odd things and what those things were?
Like slerred speech? Being loud with slerred speech?
The reason I am asking is...I will try to keep this short.
My grand daughter has lived with us for 3 years do to her mom's addictions, they are meth, pain pills,pot and she is also an aloclic.
"I think" she may be leaving the meth and pot alone...not sure.
I do know she is still drinking and using pain pills.
She has called twice over the last month and her speech is very slerred and she is being loud. I first thought she is drunk,but then she said (very boastfully and loud)GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY! I HAD A TOOTH PULLED! So then I figured it was pain pills. But I didn't realize from taking a pain pill your speeech would be sleerred, unless you took several.
My concern is my grand daughter goes every other weekend to her house for two days. And she begged me a few weeks ago not to make her go, and I have to, it is a court order.
But I do know with her not stopping the drinking and getting ready to get married (she is enagaged to every guy she dates) to a heavy drinker, plus doing pills it won't be long before the meth is back in the picture if it isn't already.
Anyone.........is it normal to be drunk like? I have had a couple teeth pulled before and I sure don't recall being that way.