I have just joined & thought it would be a good idea to drop by & say Hi. I have an alcoholic (I think) husband. He started drinking vodka at the age of 17 when he found out his dad was dying. That was 11 years ago & he has drunk between 7 & 26 shots of spirits every night since then. I know that losing his dad must have been awful & I understand that he felt alcohol would help him back then. The problem now though is that he is now a husband & father of 2 children & his behaviour when drunk is awful. I know the obvious thing would be to leave but when you are in this situation & you are completely worn down from the emotional/verbal abuse it is easier said than done. I don't live anymore...I just get through each day. I protect my childrens ears from as much as I possibly can & generally speaking I would say that they are doing ok- both are excelling in school & extra-curricular activites & both sing, draw, play & laugh most of the time. I myself show no obvious signs of my pain in front of my children but bottling it up inside of me causes me to feel unwell, tired & sad. I worry that this is my life forever now- over & done with basically & I am just 30 years old. My husband will not accept he is doing anything wrong & says that I will never change him as drinking is what he does. He gets up & goes to work 6 mornings a week for 10 hours a day in a physical job & you would never know to look at him that he drinks as much as he does & can be so nasty. He lies, cheats & portrays himself to be a fabulous family guy- ever the charmer- he gets away with it. I know he is kidding himself that what he does is acceptable but surely there must be a part of him that feels a little bit guilty for what he is doing to himself & his family?? Really sorry for going on - it has been a really hard day with him. I hope I haven't put you off talking to me- I don't generally moan this much :) Thanks for listening, K.
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