I'm also a recovering addict. My first husband was an addict(never used together but both used different substances) I needed out of that life for my kids and my sanity so left him. My second husband was the exact opposite...I never told him I was an addict cause he was so straight and judgemental. I thought loving him would keep me safe from the people, places, and things I had left behind....turned out he had a problem with cheating (so other women was his drug of choice)...we parted our ways and I swore I would never again commit to a man. I was doing real good at dating and getting the attention I craved without any committments etc until I met PO. He was open and honest with me from the beginning. He is a felon, he has 3 baby mama's, he battles with addiction just as I have for years. I ran from this relationship for several months hiding behind fear of returning down a path of distruction myself. I finally decided to set firm boundaries and now my wonderful man is working his program and getting healthy again. He is the sunshine in my life and I couldn't imagine life without him. I still struggle with my own issues but I am secure in knowing that he chooses to work beside me and not against me. When I am down he picks me up and when he is down I'm the first one there to lend him a hand. Our kids are our worlds and we see that we can only come up and get better. I work coda steps as well as AA/alanon steps.

I guess my point is find a program/programs that fit your needs and work on you....God will work everything else out. We only get entangled in the other's problems when we stop working our own. Co dependency is a disease just like addiction...

wow, POsOlDLADY, I think you said it all.
I have heard this from so many about getting together with someone else that use to use. One always seems to pull the other down.
I admire you both for saying above water. Good luck to you both.