I've been dealing with this for years, but I only just realized how bad it really is. My husband and I used to party years ago, before kids. Since then, I've been clean, except a glass of wine sometimes. Apparently, he hasn't. Money has been missing, he took the car and disappeared one night, he stole money from my mother, who we had to move in with recently due to bankruptcy, and right now he's walking around town somewhere because he came home from work stoned off of something and tried to lie about it. I'm not a stupid person, I can tell he's high now that I know I need to look for it. We have two kids together, we've been together ten years, and he is for the most part an amazing father. He works like a dog, and my family loves him. I'm so goddamned confused. I know intellectually I should get out, but among other things, this is the worst possible time to strike out on my own with the girls. I have only a part time job due to supporting his career these last years, no college degree, and my mother never wanted us here to begin with. Time is ticking for her. I can't trust him, I have to hold myself back from hitting him, and I'm just sad. Really sad. I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe he chose this as our future. I can't believe I have to keep him from his girls, who love him more than life. I had to take his keys and slam the door in his face, and tell him to go somewhere. He just stood there and lied to my face. The last month, he's gone to meetings, counseling, etc. But even the one meeting he physically went to, he got drunk during and after. He signed up for online meetings, but I can't tell how often he's signed on. I obviously can't believe what he tells me. I realize this is a little all over the place, but so is my head. There are so amny factors to consider. Can anyone offer some advice? Maybe someone can just tell me things will be ok someday. Thanks for listening, anyway.
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