iv been ok for a whole week which is a mile stone for me. up untill last week i cried evey day since my ex left, he,s been gone a month , thoought the crying would never stop but when i joined the support group for cocaine addiction & recovery i got some answers that i needed from recovering addicts, one, two of them explained my ex,s behaviour & that made me feel more settled & through reading & recieving replies from fam & fr has put things in perspective but this morning i got up for work & knew i wasnt feeling the same as i have for the last week, i was feeling pretty sad, i had a dream my ex was holding my hand, i think i was sad when i woke up because it was just a dream, that must have set me off feeling sad. im usually pretty upbeat at work, i never take my personal life with me but i couldnt speak to anyone & couldnt wait to get home so i could cry. the tears started just as i pulled up outside my house, i ran incase anyone seen me. it was made worse when i was left a note by my daughter to tell me she,d gone to york (a lovely city in the north of the uk) thats where he took me before he became an addict & proposed to me, he bought me an engagement ring & we had a lovely night there. everything i do or see seems to remind me of him. it just seems worse today. im crying while im typing this but my family & friends wouldnt understand so i dont tell them. i hope tomorrows a better day. i dont like this feeling.
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