Well, he gets out in two days.. Must say im completely not prepared and its kickin me in the ass. I still love him and its gonna be hard as hell to see him.... I wish that he could garentee a full recovery but you know what thats like...... Im terrified about whats gonna happen when i see him. I will never love anyone like that again but i refuse to live like that again..... I know i have to be stronge and let things be the way they are but its so hard.. Ive met a few guys since but they just dont appeal to me the way he does... I cant be myself completely. I know its only been a little while but i have been trying so hard to push him out of my head i didnt really focus on what would happen and what to be prepared for when he comes out........ He wont be living here when he gets out and thats gonna be weird to, the whole saying see ya later thing. Its gonna drive me nutts.. I miss the way he smells, when he wasnt using i would come home from work and hed be in a suit with a candle light dinner, I miss the way we would dance in the living room and he was better at it and i would step all over his feet, the way we would have water fights in the summer with the kids, the way he was when he play'd with the kids, the way we used to have bubble baths, lying on his back to go to sleep. Having some one to hang out with everynight, I miss my best friend........ I miss his stupid political rants and his loud obnoctious laugh while watching the dailey show or the simpsons, or even family guy, and the way he came up behind me and just hold me and the way he used to kiss my neck.. But what i dont miss is the crying, the fighting, the waiting up all night to see if hed come home, the parinoia and how he would spend all our money on the drugs ....... I guess im right back to square one...... I still love him... What am i supposed to do?????????????
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